Monday, August 31, 2009


Right now, neither boy is sleeping. It's 9:45 pm, and they are back in their room, chattering.

It's a sweet sound, but not what I want to hear tonight.

Because tomorrow I go back to work.

Now, as most teachers know, this first week is practice. Inservices, setting up the classroom, lesson planning. It's next week when the students walk in the door that reality really kicks in. And despite the fact that I start tomorrow with "team-building" in the gym, I still don't really want to go.

I love my job. Once I'm in it, and the routine is established and I know my kiddos and things are happening, I love it. It's getting there that is exhausting and hard for me. Almost as hard as leaving my kiddos. Luke starts his new daycare on Thursday, and Max begins Montessori next Wednesday. In the meantime, my amazing mother is here playing angel and making their days very special. But I'm missing them. 'Cause I'm not here.

As many of you know, today's my birthday. (Thanks for all of the amazing wishes on Facebook and such!) But it's bittersweet. Feeling like I am getting more set in my ways and habits than I hoped to be at 32 years old. Lots of things I want to be doing and things I'm doing that I don't want to be spending time on.

Ok, I'm just rambling tonight. No goal, no theme, no direction. Lots of thoughts swirling in my head that haven't yet come to any conclusion or decision. My life is very blessed, and while my list of those I'm praying for is long right now, I am constantly reminded of just how much I have.

It's just that there's a lot of change, and change and I aren't really on speaking terms right now.

1 comment:

j.yue said...

happy birthday megan! oh how i relate to this post with stuck in ways and such. crazy to "feel" it happening. let me know if i can be of help during this going back to work phase. we hope he can come over on tuesday.