Sleeping....

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE to sleep. Even just the idea of sleep makes me happy. Whether it is a cozy down comforter in our bedroom or a seat in a car cruising down the highway, if I can close my eyes and drift in and out of awareness, life is good.

It was this love of sleep that made me nervous about having a second child. Let's face it - since having Max, good sleep is something of the past. He was well over a year before he would sleep more than a couple hours in a row. At two, he often was still waking up 2-3 times a night. But his difficulty sleeping taught us one thing - if we wanted to maximize our nights, we needed to co-sleep. Like his mama, he sleeps better when there is someone else there.

So, with Luke, we jumped right into co-sleeping. While it was a pain with the bili-blanket, since that has been gone, nights have been wonderful. So much so that I feel guilty when people give me the "pity-the-new-mom" query about how he sleeps. I actually chuckle and say, "It's great!" and mean it! When Luke wakes up, he grunts, roots around for food, nurses for a few minutes, and goes back to sleep. Most nights I can't even tell you how many times this happens, because it is that NON-disruptive to my own sleep.

Sleep is also one of the ways that I can tell how much I've grown as a mother in the last couple of years. When we finally went to full-time co-sleeping with Max, I would admit it rather guiltily, hanging my head because it wasn't what you were "supposed" to do. But now - who cares? If people are curious enough to ask how we sleep, I'll tell them proudly that Luke is with us, and Max is getting much better at sleeping through the night in his "rocket ship". It's what works for us, and that's all that matters. And no, co-sleeping does not ensure that you will never get the wiggly toddler into their own bed.

But the real, deep truth of it is that it is my favorite thing about being a mom. Time when I just focus on the tiny little body curled into my side when he is all mine again. Closeness that lasts for hours. A time in both of our lives that passes way too quickly.

Sleep is a beautiful thing.