Living Life Deliberately

Max rides a bike!

2011-02-18T18:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon was beautiful and sunny. In our house that has come to mean that bike riding will be the activity of choice after school. For the last several months, Max has rotated between riding his scooter and his glider bike, with occasional turns on his two-wheeler with training wheels. But when we got home, Max immediately asked Dan to take off his training wheels - he wanted to give riding a two-wheeler a shot.

Now, when we tried this last June, it only took about 5 minutes before it became really evident that he wasn't ready. The balance wasn't there, and he was too nervous about falling to keep working at it. In fact, that was part of what pushed me toward purchasing his glider bike. Since then, he really hasn't said a word about it. But between the scooter and glider bike, we've watched his balance grow and grow. We knew he was ready - he just needed to decide that he was.

So, today was the day. Dan popped off the training wheels, told Max to take it to the top of the driveway and coast down, just like on his glider bike. No problem. The second time, he told him that when he got to the bottom of the hill, he should try peddling. And seriously? That was it. He was off and riding. No tears, no fear. I'm so proud of him. And I'm still trying to figure out when he got so big.

Here's a video about 5 minutes after the training wheels came off:

Cousin Time...

2011-01-30T17:50:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about Christmas this year was all the cousin time that the kiddos got to have. With my sister's family living all the way in Ottawa, there's never enough time together. But Christmas break gave us great time for Max, Luke, Savannah, and Asher to spend together.

It's funny to watch as the relationships develop. Max, as the oldest, loves his little cousins. Savannah adores him, and he loves being adored, so it all works out. They play well together, and he is much kinder and more patient with her than he ever is with Luke. While he thinks Asher is cute, he really can't wait until he can play ball with him. Babies don't get much attention form my biggest.

Luke, on the other hand, has completely different relationships with his cousins. He and Savannah are only 5 months apart, and they don't always bring out the best in each other. They antagonize and push each others' buttons, and have little patience or understanding for each other. But, we are starting to see signs of improvement. They worked together on several kitchen ventures, and Uncle Alex hosted a delightful tea party that they both enjoyed. And there were even a few times when they chose to play together. And Asher? Luke ADORES him. Wants to make him smile, giggle, laugh all the time. He loves to lay on the floor next to him and find things for him to play with.

While we always wish for more time, we're so thankful for what time we get. I'm glad the boys are building relationships with their cousins, and can't wait to see how they continue to grow together!

The drive home today...

2011-01-07T21:38:00.000-08:00

On the drive home today, there were a few Max and Luke jems I never want to forget:

Max: Mom, when I'm sixteen, can I have a bow and arrow?
Me: Sure. Why not? What do you want them for?
Max: So I can hunt in the South American rainforest. That's how the people who live there do it. Sounds good to me!

Me: Luke, you can't just touch the buttons on the new phone - it will actually call someone.
Luke: But Mom, when I'm sixteen can I dial the phone?
Me: Sure, kiddo. No problem.

Luke: Mom, when I go to college, I am going to go with Max.
Max: And you can come visit us.
Me: Really? You'll let me visit?
Max: Sure - you could go to college then, too. Then you could get a new job.
Me: What kind of new job could I get?
Max:You can do whatever makes you happy.

Man, I love these kids.

Christmas Update #1

2011-01-02T21:00:00.000-08:00

Rather than blather on and on like I usually do, this time I'll let the pictures speak for themselves (or I'll never get caught up!)

Here was the first part of our Christmas at Mema and Papa's (my parents):

A very special visit from Santa (or Santa's helper, as Luke decided) was a magical part of our Christmas eve.

Gotta love new goggles!

Three of my favorite people

We were lucky to have Uncle Jerry and soon-to-be-Aunt Brenda join us

Luke and his beloved stoplight - Santa sure came through!

My beautiful sister - who never looks as gorgeous as when she's being a mama.

We tried to tell him not to eat the snow, but it was better than licking it off the window, which he did later...

Snow flingers that double as great noise makers

Amazing snowman demolition brought to you by my brother-in-law, Alex!

Asher and Dan enjoying their time together

SO many wonderful memories and laughter. We felt very fortunate, indeed.

And it's tree time again...

2010-12-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

For some people it's the first strains of Christmas music that stream through the overhead speakers in the grocery store. For others it's the dark hour Black Friday shopping excursion. For me, Christmas begins with the tree.

Growing up, it was a trip to the forest. Now we live in the heart of Christmas tree country - no fewer than 30 farms within a 30 minute drive. We can go out, cut our own, and still be home for lunch. For the last two years we have loved visiting the Hamburg 4D Tree Farm - a great little farm with trees for $20, hot cocoa, cider, and chili. The family is friendly, and the trees are beautiful. We love Noble Fir, and enjoy the search for the tree that is meant to be ours.

Here are a few shots from this year's trip:

Letters to Santa

2010-12-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

Each day of Advent, the boys get to open a bag that contains a card with an activity for the day. Day 2 was to write a letter to Santa. While we've always talked about it in the past, this was the first time we've actually sat down and done it.

Max is getting more and more independent with his writing. While he will first exclaim that he can't do it, given a little prompting and time, he does fairly well. It is so interesting (as a reading teacher) to watch him develop letter and sound ideas. Luke is just starting to write his first letters - he's got "u" down, and is working on his name. For his letter, I took dictation. Here are the results:

Max's letter reads:
     "Dear Santa
            I hope you are having a good time. Kud (Could) I hav hte Lego castle ples? Kud I hav a tooth bruhs (brush) ples?
                                       Frum,
                                       Max Y"

Lots of tongues sticking out in concentration. This is serious business, people!

The soundtrack of our house...

2010-11-15T19:54:00.000-08:00

( A little Eye of the Tiger for those needing translation...)

A little heads up...

2010-11-12T20:13:00.000-08:00

Over the last couple of years, I have had a few challenges when it comes to blogging. The largest of these was feeling like I was trying to make this little blog cover too many things. I wanted it to be our online scrapbook, family journal, but also wanted somewhere to share our theories on parenting and life. Sometimes these things go together, but often it just felt awkward. Maybe it all comes down to the English teacher in me always wanting to write for my audience, but not knowing who that was...

So, as many of you know, I started a new blog a couple weeks ago. Upon the Tightrope is our new bog for our journey to finding more balance in life. Here I will continue to write about the funny things the boys say, silly videos, and our more personal, individual thoughts. Hopefully this will help make each place feel more coherent, and tied together. I'd love to have you join me for whatever interests you!

And thanks for reading along, wherever you choose to do that!

Halloween

2010-10-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

We had a great day today. Instead of our usual craziness of trying to do too much "holiday stuff", we took it easy. The weather was beautiful, so the yard called for attention. Max and I planted over 75 bulbs today (mostly tulips and narcissus), we cleaned out the garden, and Dan mowed and cleaned up tons of leaves. It was so nice to be able to work on all of that without the rain!

To celebrate Halloween, first we went over to my grandma's house. It was great to see her, my Uncle Jerry and his girlfriend Brenda, and mt Uncle Jim, Aunt Robbi, and cousins Ian and Sydney. They loved getting to see my little pirates, and my pirates loved seeing people they love.

We came home, ate dinner, and headed out for Grandpa Tom's church. They were having their second annual "Trunk and Treat", where members of the congregation decorate their car trunks and pass out candy to children from the church and neighborhood. The boys loved seeing their grandparents and thought that the cars were pretty cool, too.

Once we got back home, Dan took the boys around the neighborhood, while I stayed home to man the door. I was really impressed at how polite the trick or treaters were, and the boys had fun on their short adventure.

It was a great evening overall. Our little pirates were adorable, even if they had been planning for months to be a knight and a dragon. (Last minute changes made possible by the dress up box...) Now, off to "check" their candy (and hope for a butterfinger...).

Nearly a month...

2010-10-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly a month since I've written, and looking back I'm not sure where it has gone. Ok - that isn't exactly true. It's been full. Really full. But so full that I think I am just going to have to give it one massive update, or we'll be catching up for months.

So, here's where it went:

1. At the end of September we lost our cat, Oden. He had been sick off and on the entire time we had him, and after many vet visits and all kinds of exams, there really wasn't a clear issue or a solution. Oden was Max's cat, and of course he was pretty upset. I was glad we had the fish episode to prepare him, and the one positive thing was that we had a few weeks to get ready. Still, there's not much more pitiful than watching Max haul the dead cat in a laundry basket around the house for a couple days before he was ready for us to bury him. And something a little funny? Luke still tells people that his orange cat is "very, very sick in a deep, deep hole".

2. We went to the beach with my parents. What was supposed to be a crabbing weekend became a arcade, swimming pool, air hockey weekend. The 55 mph winds just weren't conducive to being out in a skiff, but we had a wonderful time anyway. I was so happy to see the boys so happy to be in the pool every day, and they loved riding their bikes up and down the promenade.

Max loving the pool

3. Just after coming back from the beach, my grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We could hardly believe it. Fortunately, I am part of an amazing family that has worked hard to rally around her, and we are really thankful that she is still feeling well. My aunt and cousin were able to come to town, my mom came up, and my uncles who live in town have all worked hard to get appropriate care established. Now we just love her up as much as we can.

4. While my family was gathering, we were also joined by my wonderful sister-in-law for a weekend. It is always so fun to have her around. She is such a kind, considerate, crazy-smart person, and the boys adore her. We just wish she lived closer!

5. We were also lucky enough to have my sister and her family join us for a week. (Well, my hard working brother in law flew out, back, back out, and then home again within a week to help my sister get my niece and nephew out here.) Max and Luke were so happy to have their cousins around, and I loved cuddling with the princess (my niece Savannah) and the peanut (my nephew Asher). My sister and I got a couple of nights out together, and she even helped me attempt to shop. They are such easy guests, and we miss them already.

Alex reading to Max and Luke

Asher, 4 months

6. Speaking of great guests, there was also my Mom. She was here for about a week and a half, and in that time she kept the house clean, helped my Grandma, fixed dinners, cleaned out my pantry, and read countless bedtime stories. I don't know how she manages to do all she does, but she sure makes our life easier when she is around.

7. Dan and I got a weekend away. One of my best friends from high school got married in Vegas the weekend we were at the beach (we got to watch it all online - so very cool!), and his reception was in our hometown. While we were there we got to sleep in, watch a movie (The Social Network), shop (successfully this time), and catch up with friends I hadn't seen in years.

8. We also hit the pumpkin patch. Taking all four kiddos, my fabulous mother in law, sister in law, sister, and Dan to the world's busiest pumpkin patch was quite an adventure, but the weather was incredible and the kids had a lot of fun picking out pumpkins, playing in the mazes, and riding the mini merry go round. It was a bit of seasonal fun amidst all the other craziness.

Savannah, Max, and Luke (in disguise, apparently)

Erin, Asher (in the pouch), and Savannah

9. And finally, we spent a LOT of the last month outside. Portland has enjoyed a gorgeous fall - sunny skies, weather in the 60's kind of days. Nearly every day the boys have come home from school and spent an hour or more riding their bikes and scooters in the driveway and garage. They get quite the little loop going, and the chance to spend time outside has done wonders for all of our moods. Max has developed his balance on his scooter and glider bike, and Luke loves to bomb down the hill on the "big bike" (12 incher with training wheels). The laughter and fun they have together out there is such a nice way to wind down from the day. I'll be pretty sad when it's too wet to do any more.

Savannah riding a bike

Max

So, that's what we've been up to in October. A busy, fun, emotional, FULL month. We're so lucky to have such wonderful family in our lives, and this was a great few weeks for really paying attention to just that.

Pumpkin carving

A small harvest...

2010-10-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting year for gardening. Every year I learn so much about the process. But sometimes I think the biggest lesson I learn in gardening is just how much is OUT of my control.

This year has been a little strange - a very cool summer, with a very wet June. Our first rounds of cucumbers and squash all rotted out, and the second round was late getting started. The beans never really got going - beyond a handful at a time, there were never enough beans for a meal. The chard varied between not growing at all, and leaves that were baked hard from too much sun exposure.

Our large tomatoes have only been getting red in the last week - and most are showing signs of evenings that are too cool. The blueberries did well - but this was only their first year in ground, so the harvest was small. Squash? Overcrowded vines didn't allow for much fruit.

We really only had a few successes this year. Our eggplants grew well, and turned out many fruits (too bad I'm the only one who likes them!). The hops plant provided enough hops for one batch of home brew. And our cherry tomatoes - Sungolds, primarily - have been amazing. And since that's our favorite, it's the only one that really matters.

So, lots of frustrations in the garden, and few moments of glory. Was it worth it?

Of course. The reason I garden is only very partially for the harvest. No, I garden because I want my boys to know how food grows. I want to remember my grandparents, amazing tomato growers. I want an excuse to be outside. And I want to try something that pushes me to let go of my need to control everything.

So, while I still have the beds to clear and soil to mulch, I'm already planning for next year. How about you?

Apple picking time...

2010-09-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

I'll get back to revisiting summer soon, but while it's still fresh, I thought I would share today's trip to the apple orchard. To say I've been a little overwhelmed since school started would be an understatement. Every evening has been filled with preparing for the next day, and this weekend I have plenty of grading to do. But I needed a break, and the weather is only supposed to get worse. Dan and the boys appeased my pleas to head to Parkdale and the Kiyokawa Orchards.

Despite the gray skies, the drive there was beautiful. Instead of taking grading in the car, I took my latest knitting project and made a real mini-vacation of it. It was so nice to sit and listen to Car Talk podcasts and knit rather than think about students and grades. Just what I needed today.

The orchard was busy, but the u-pick areas were nearly empty. We all headed out to pick the three varieties that were ready - Sansa, Akane, and Ginger Golds. Max is becoming quite the experienced picker, and it was fun to watch him really search for the best apples - even if that meant he had to get up on Daddy's shoulders. Lucky for us, they also had u-pick strawberries and peaches - both of which were beautiful and perfectly ripe. Luke may have eaten more berries than he picked, but the grin on his face was worth it.

The orchard was also offering free hayrides around the farm, while the owner shared a little of the history and told us about his father's start of the orchards. The boys loved the ride, and I liked hearing about the place we've been visiting for the last several years.

Tomorrow I will work on canning some peaches for the first time, and applesauce will be made next weekend. Strawberries are cleaned and ready to be used in smoothies this winter. And my mind is just a little clearer.

A day well worth it.

Max's first sleepover...

2010-09-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

Just a warning: the next few posts will be catch-up posts. There were so many things that we enjoyed this summer that I haven't gotten a chance to share.

In our house, birthday parties are every-other-year occurrences. Max gets them on even numbered years, Luke on odd years. But we still want the non-party years to be special.

This year Max really wanted to have a sleepover, and his ideal sleepover guest was his good buddy, Ollie. Ollie is a member of our playgroup, and they have known each other since they were about 2 months old. They get along perfectly, and we love having Ollie around. We were thrilled when he accepted Max's invitation.

I was prepared for anything - arguing, homesickness, staying up all night. NONE of that happened. Now, they didn't fall asleep until about 10:30, but it was the smoothest, most fun evening. The boys played legos, ate pizza, and dressed up. They slept in sleeping bags and giggled as they made shadow puppets. And they woke up with the bedhead and sleepy eyes that are universal signs of a good sleep over.

I am so happy that Max has such great little friends. I'm glad he wants to bring them to our home. And I am glad it all went so well. We can't wait to do it again!

A Week of First Days...

2010-09-12T21:52:00.001-07:00

This last week was a week of first days of school. It's always a busy, crazy week. The biggest goal is just to get through it. My students started on Tuesday, so even though I had been back to work for a week, that was my first REAL day. And even though I have had 12 first days as a teacher, it still makes me feel on edge - like a big audition for something.

Wednesday was Max's first day. Now, for a lot of his buddies, this was a FIRST DAY of major magnitude. They are all starting Kindergarten, after all. But Max's start of Kindergarten came on a much more mellow scale. He is doing his K year at Harmony, the same place (same classroom, same teacher, many of the same friends) he loved last year. No hesitation for this kiddo - he was ready to go! And, of course, the first day went well. He's glad to be back, and is right back to work.

Now, the big first day of the week was for Luke. This year Luke is also going to be at Harmony (in the classroom across the hall form Max). He was so excited to start preschool on Friday and go to "big kid" school like Max. And of course, in his typical Luke fashion, he was super laid-back about it all. No nerves, no tears. In fact, the only issue of the day was when he told me at pick-up that he "wasn't a very good listener" in his early care. (According to Max there were no issues, so we aren't sure what he meant by that!) Other than that, he loved painting and dancing with his buddy, Ben.

I am so happy that the one who seems to have the hardest time with first days is me. And I'm not sure how we got so lucky to have two little boys who will jump right into a new routine and new adventure without batting an eye. And I couldn't be more thankful that the week of first days is over!

On to week two!

Goodbye, Sam...

2010-09-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I noticed that our beta, Sam, wasn't eating his food. As this continued, I knew we were looking at the end sooner rather than later. On Friday, he was doing the half-hearted swim, and the slow drift to the bottom of the bowl. Ugh. I decided that it was better to prepare the boys rather than surprise them with his impending death.

I called Max over to watch him for a moment. The struggle with swimming, the old food floating in the bowl, and the look on my face must have said it all. "Mom, is Sam going to die?" And I answered yes. He asked a few more questions, and then went off to play.

Yesterday, Sam was at the bottom. His little fish soul had moved on to bigger bowls. I told Max that Sam had died, and when asked what we would do with his body, I replied that we would flush him. Fortunately Dan was there to step in when the deep worry and fear crossed Max's face. "Or....we could bury him in the back yard, if you want." And that was it. We'd be having a fish funeral in the yard.

Today was the day. The boys were out riding bikes in the driveway when I carried the bowl out to let them know it was time. I figured they were over it. After all, I'd already agreed that we could get a new fish in a couple of days. And as far as Luke was concerned, it was done - old fish out, new fish in.

Max was a different story. I hadn't realized how upset he was about it all until I proposed the flowerbed closest to the garage (get it over and done as soon as possible, right?). Well, that would just not do for Sam's final resting place. Max wanted a spot IN the grass. Fortunately, our local mole had already disturbed a perfect fish-size patch. We dug a hole, placed Sam in, and covered him up. The boys each shared something they liked about Sam ("He was a fish" from Luke, and "He was the prettiest, best, first pet I ever had" from Max). Luke headed back to the bikes. Max said he wanted some time with Sam, and I went in the house.

Twenty minutes later, he was still sitting there, with tears streaming down his cheeks. He wanted to make a headstone. I tried to explain that for mowing purposes we couldn't just leave a rock in the middle of the yard. Couldn't we just put one in the dirt nearby? Certainly not. No, we needed to MOVE Sam to the flowerbed where his tombstone could stay. Did I do it? Of course. My baby lost his first pet, after all.

Exhumation and reburial complete, Max and I searched the yard for the perfect rock. And in his five-year-old hand, he wrote "SAM" in permanent marker. We laid it on top of the new spot. And then he stayed there for another 20 minutes.

While it wasn't how I planned on spending an hour of an already-too-full day, the Burial of Sam was a good reminder. Loss hurts - and it isn't up to me as the parent to determine how much any loss might hurt. I'm glad Max cared enough to be sad. It shows character and understanding of the value of life. It shows that he really did notice the poor little fish I often thought he forgot. And it helped me to slow down and listen to what his heart needed.

Thanks, Sam, for the lessons...

The fifth birthday...

2010-09-03T17:14:00.000-07:00

We're nearly a month past, but that doesn't mean that it's too late to share some memories of Max's 5th birthday. Well, maybe birthdays is more accurate. We do birthday parties every other year in this house (this year is Luke's, next year is Max's), so on these smaller celebrations we have celebrated with both sides of the family at different times.

Max's actual birthday fell at the end of our week at the beach. With the marvelous help of Aunt Carrie we decorated the living and dining area of the house the night before, and he was thrilled to come upstairs to the surprise of pirates and balloons. Then he and I hopped in the car (in his pajamas - a real treat) and went to the donut shop. The day was spent at the beach and playing Frisbee in the backyard. By request of the birthday boy we had pizza for dinner, and he got to open his gifts.

His second birthday was a couple of days later when my parents came up to celebrate with us. We opened gifts and were joined at Montage (a local restaurant that serves many types of macaroni and cheese - Max's favorite) by GiGi (my grandma) and her boyfriend, Jack, and my uncle and his friend. It was so nice to have everybody join us, and Max just reveled in the attention.

If there were one word to describe Max's birthdays, that word would be LEGOS. He has been in love with them for a while now (that will have to be a whole other post), and he was very clear that he hoped that is what people would get him. To put it mildly, he was not disappointed. In fact, last week he finally finished building the last of his birthday gifts. He even got a cool Lego soccer watch from Aunt Carrie.

Seriously, though, I can hardly believe I have a five year old. Time has gone so quickly, and I am having so much fun with the person he is growing into. He is a sensitive soul with a wicked laugh. He still loves to cuddle with anyone who will hold him (although he holds a special place for all of his grandparents), but is hard pressed to stay still for too long. He loves to ride bikes and scooters (another birthday gift), play basketball, and read. Conversations with adults come easily for him, and he'll chat anyone up. He is starting Kindergarten this year, but is staying at his Montessori school. He and Luke love playing together and Ollie and Eli are his best buddies. We are so proud of him.

I can't wait to see the joy and changes that being 5 brings!

The Air and Space Museum

2010-08-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, we hit the Evergreen Aviation Air and Space Museum just outside of McMinnville. Most famously, this is the home of the Spruce Goose, Howard Hughes' wooden "flying boat", the plane with the largest wingspan ever. For years, Dan and I have driven by and commented that sometime we should go check it out. Finally we decided that on our way home from our beach trip would be the perfect time for a visit.

Now, let me admit right off that this is not my thing. Yeah, airplanes and space are cool and all that, but I don't know any of the planes, or the names of all the NASA missions. Dan, however, does. In a big way. Like, he didn't need the signs posted - sign that boy up as a museum docent right now!

So while I hung back and just kind of took it all in, Dan led the boys to each plane and rocket, telling them all about them. Max was right there with him - jaw dropped and hanging on every word. Luke did well for the first 30 minutes, and then just wanted to visit the bathrooms and playground.

I was so glad that we had made time for it - seeing Dan share something that he loves with the boys just never gets old. I know they are already planning a trip back next year when the new aviation water park opens next door!

Beach retreat...

2010-08-08T15:15:00.001-07:00

Once again, life has taken me away from this space. I hope to someday figure out remote blogging, but for now it just means a lapse in service. But for times like this last week? I am more than happy to just be living life, if not documenting it.

Imagine, if you will, the following:

- a house 5 minutes from the beach, equipped with 2 Foosball tables, a pool table, a hot tub, swings in the backyard, and bedrooms and bathrooms enough for many

- sand and a small creek shallow enough for two boys to explore to their heart's content (adding sand to the water to "make it less wet" and watering the sand so that it wasn't so dry)

- a world-class aquarium and a wander through a "tube of sharks" holding the hands of people you love

- clam chowder and garlic cheese bread (or mac n' cheese for the little ones) at a resteraunt that feels like home

- losing your purse in the outlet mall and the kind person who turned it in immediately to be found

- hours of reading/knitting/catching up on all that is happening in each others' lives

- car trips to connect and talk with someone you admire

- jogging someplace new - with mountain and lake views and cool temperatures to make it refreshing

- celebrating a 5th birthday (more on that later) with donuts, pizza, and the beach

- the company of family that you adore and the laughter and comfort that only come with love

Blissful? Yup. Feeling just so lucky to have had this time with Dan's family - they are such a treasure. I just can't wait to do it again!

The zoo...

2010-07-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

I have always loved going to the zoo. Living three hours away as a kid, we didn't go very often, but I adored it every time. Being so close to those animals you usually only read about in books was amazing. As soon as we had Max, Dan and I became big fans of having an annual zoo membership. My mom has given us our membership for Christmas the last couple of years, and we work hard to get good use out of it. It really is a fabulous present for which we are thankful.

One of the best parts of having a membership is the fact that we don't have to see every animal every time, because we know we will be back soon. Each boy gets to choose 2 things that they want to see, and then we just see whatever else we have time for or is on the way to those chosen exhibits. On Tuesday we decided to take advantage of the early morning sunshine and hit the zoo for a couple of hours. It really was the perfect day and the perfect time. When we got there, we were one of 7 cars in the parking lot and were able to have long, personal visits with several of our favorite animal friends. And as we were leaving, the full parking lot and hungry boys confirmed we timed it all just right!

The Sun Bear has always been one of Max's favorites, and he spent a lot of time climbing up and down the log while the boys marveled at his claws.

Visiting my favorite, the orangutans

How could you not just love that face?! He's my favorite guy at the whole zoo.

The cheetah, on his way to check us out.

Luke always loves the goats. Maybe for a city kid, farm animals are just as exciting?!

The new juvenile giraffe - the boys were so excited to see him out.

Then we got to watch this hornbill eat this mouse...

Luke's top choice every time - the polar bears.

There's also an animatronic dinosaur "exhibit" right now - and Max is in love.

Is it any surprise that the Gigantosaurus is his favorite?

A wonderful time was had by all, and we already are trying to figure out how to fit in another visit this summer.

Us unplugged...

2010-07-25T19:49:00.001-07:00

For 6 days this last week, our little family went up to my parents' cabin in the Ochoco Mountains. They have about 13 acres that borders National Forest Land and a well-equipped retreat all set up. It's heavenly there - lots of space for the boys to run and get dirty, without too much they could get into trouble with. This combination makes a much more relaxing vacation for Dan and I - we have a lot of freedom to sit on the porch and watch them experience life outside of the city.

For the first few days we were joined by my parents - which made things even easier. If my mom or dad are around, the boys have no interest in their parents whatsoever. They shadow Mema as she waters the flowers and beg Papa for rides on the four-wheeler. I loved the time to just sit back and read, knit, and chat. Dan rode his motorcycle everyday, read, and played guitar. I also got to follow Papa a bit as he and I spent some much-needed daddy-daughter time riding horses and having him teach me how to drive the four-wheeler. What made it extra special was getting to celebrate Papa's 59th birthday before he headed out on a multiple day trail ride.

The last few days we were there on our own. I have to admit that I got a little "homesick" the first day alone. It's always so nice to spend time with my parents that I really felt their absence. But with some walks in the woods, soccer in the carport, and supervising Luke as he "drove" the tractor, we kept busy in our relaxation.

My favorite memories?
- Roasting marshmallows and making s'mores in the new fire pit
- Taking Luke for his first horseback ride
- The view from the top of Mount Pisgah and the ride to get there
- Watching the delight on Max's face during any of the many squirt gun fights
- Luke's constant wear of the ancient orange motorcycle helmet
- Great talks with my mom and dad
- Watching The Wire with Dan after the boys were asleep
- Reading in the hammock
- The beautiful forest land seen from horseback
- Time with my family without the interruptions of daily life

Now, here's a few (ok, more than a few) shots form the week:

We're already trying to plan our next trip back.

House projects

2010-07-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

Along with the art fun, we are also working on getting some small projects done around the house these days.

Organizing cupboards and closets happens slowly, but I love when they are done (and yes, I know that it's pitiful to take pictures of our linen closet):

I love staying caught up on the laundry, and drying clothes and sheets outside is just one of those crazy things I adore. It makes me feel all "homey".

And now that the rain has finally stopped and it's warming up, the garden is taking off. We've been enjoying peas and strawberries, and had the first of our tomatoes last night. Everything is running a couple weeks behind where is should be, but the cucumbers, zucchini, and blueberries are all getting closer.

Some strawberries and chives:

One of our 8 tomato plants:

Our sad little bean tee-pee:

There are a million more things on the to-do list, but at least a few of items are moving right along!

Art time...

2010-07-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned a few posts ago, making time for art was a big priority for me this summer. While it isn't happening every day, it is happening several times a week, and the boys and I are loving it.

Classic art ideas are where we've started. Crayon rubbings have been fun - Luke loves to peel the paper, and Max enjoys seeing what different impressions will give us.

Sometimes scribbles are a great foundation for art. Max will choose a starting point, make big loops and lines, and end back at his starting point. Then he just colors in the sections - ta da! Easy-peasy. But great practice for small motor skills, and developing ideas about color.

Finally, at the beginning of summer I made some purchases to make art time easier. I had always thought the paint cups were a luxury - but now I know they are a necessity. We are able to pull the easel and washable tempera paints out at a moment's notice, and the only clean-up I have to do is rinsing the brushes. Each kiddo gets a side, we tape paper on, and away they go!

(And yes, there are googley eyes on this one...)

Cannot believe I forgot...

2010-07-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

Ack! I was just checking back a few posts and realized I missed a major event!

So, here's the back story. With both pregnancies, I joined message boards on babycenter.com to talk with people due the same month that I was due. From Max's birth board I connected with a wonderful group of ladies that later formed a private Google group and that I still keep in touch with, 5 years later. Well, with Luke I decided to give it another shot. Same thing happened - I was fortunate enough to connect with a wonderful group of women that eventually moved to a private board. It's been a wonderful support network, and a source of inspiration and entertainment.

One of the women from Luke's birth board is the divine Emily Southerland, a professional mama and photographer from St. Louis. As long as I have known her, I have drooled over her work, and prayed that someday, somehow, I would get to have her photograph my family. Well, as luck would have it, another event brought her to Oregon, and Memorial Day weekend she stayed with us and took the most amazing family pictures.

So, here's your chance to check them out. Click here. Select "Clients" from the menu at the bottom, and our password is "lukenmax".

I still can't believe how well she captured our family. It's gotta be a combination of amazing talent, hard work, and the ability to make people feel truly comfortable just being themselves. Hope you enjoy them!

Ottawa Visit...

2010-07-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

At the end of May, my beautiful little sister had a baby. But May is the end of the school year, so I had to wait until the end of June to go meet my new nephew, Asher. Since the intention of the visit was to go out and be helpful, it was clear that only one of my children should come with me - Max would be great at playing with my niece, Savannah, and I would have more flexibility to assist Erin and Alex. Luke stayed home with Daddy, and got to spend quality time with Grandma (Dan's mom) and Mema (my mom).

Well, it turns out that by the time we got there, they had life under control and sailing smoothly. My niece adores her little brother and takes great care of him, my nephew is eating like a champ, and sleeps pretty decently, and Erin and Alex are dealing with their new addition with grace. So Max and I got to just come and play!

From the pirate adventure to seeing the dinosaurs at the natural history museum, we had a great time. If you ask Max what the best part of the visit was, no doubt he will tell you it was seeing his new cousin and Lego building with Uncle Alex.

My favorite part? Well, of course smelling Asher's head, taking Savannah to the park, and eating amazing food was all fabulous. But the best was just hanging out with Erin and Alex. They are such an amazing couple, and watching them become parents has been inspiring. I loved gossiping about the Bachelorette and watching the World Cup. Just being there was more than I could have asked for - and now I just want to go back.

Thanks...and an update

2010-07-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

I certainly didn't mean to post and run last week - but thank you so much for all of your kind comments. You helped me feel like I was in good company with parenting challenges, and your support and encouragement meant the world. I didn't want to post too soon, but, I think we are starting to get it figured out (sometimes).

The key to the last several days has been planning. Not minute by minute, but having a general idea of what the day should hold. I've picked out an art project (and we've worked on them!), chosen a chore (and gotten it done), played with the boys and had some time for me. The balance is helpful and when I add in an errand or playdate our days feel full, but not overwhelming.

And the weather...oh, the weather. For those of you who don't know, we have had an incredibly wet and cold May and June. The one week of nice sun and warm temperatures happened to be while I was in Ottawa - and participating in their cool/rainy spell. But TODAY is glorious. Right now it's in the mid 80's, we're wearing shorts and the boys played in the wading pool this afternoon. Perfect weather. And it's supposed to be even warmer for the next couple of days. It is amazing how much a difference that can make in my mood.

Tonight I'll do a few catch-up posts - our trip to Ottawa, our anniversary, Fourth of July weekend. Lots of great stuff going on around here. Hope you are all enjoying your day, and that things are going smoothly in your world.

Stay-at-home bomb...

2010-06-30T18:59:00.000-07:00

For the last week I have been at my sister's house, reveling in her world and sniffing her new baby's head far too often. It was wonderful, as times with her adorable family always are. I'll write more about it...tomorrow.

But for all intents and purposes, today felt like the first day of summer break. And it was hard.

Confessional time:

All school year, I look forward to the summer. I hope and wish and pray and pin everything on the 2 months that I get to be a stay-at-home mom. It's the time of year I get to live the life I want most to be living. I get to be the "me" I picture myself to be.

But when it rolls around? Turns out that sometimes I'm not so good at it. I lose my patience, don't get enough done, or run out of time or energy to get on the floor and play. The chores multiply along with the messes, and all the projects I hope to do evaporate for lack of planning or motivation.

Today I felt like a failure. I told myself that I was going to get our luggage put away, and do some art with the boys. I got 1 suitcase put away. No art. Instead there was a trip to the vet, a load of laundry, and I did clean out the fridge before groceries were delivered - but no play. We went to the backyard, and instead of throwing the ball around, I became overwhelmed by the jungle of weeds that appeared in the last two weeks. And then I started to cry.

Because if there's anything I want to be good at, this is IT. No other job I will ever do will matter as much. And today I wasn't good. Not even mediocre. I was plain bad at it.

But...

Tomorrow I will be better. I'm going to sit down with a new art book, pick a project, and get out the materials tonight. I am going to choose 2 chores that MUST be done, and everything else will wait for another day (I'm thinking the linen closet reorganization and the run to the store for curtains for the boys' room and another organizer for the dress-up clothes). And I will read (for myself) for at least 30 minutes.

Most of all, I will give myself a hug. After all, it's only my second day on the job, and there's bound to be a learning curve.

What a wonderful year!

2010-06-20T16:51:00.001-07:00

Over a year ago, I spent endless hours pouring over web pages and doing visits to preschools all over the east side of Portland. I drafted an excel spreadsheet and countless pro-con lists for each opportunity. But when I visited Harmony, something clicked. It felt like a home where children and families and teachers were partners in the journey, and where Max would begin to love school.

From his first day in the fall, he (and we) fell in love with his school. He made wonderful friends quickly, and had teachers who gave their whole hearts to the children in their care. Likewise, Dan and I were welcomed into the community, and the hellos in the hall lead to play dates and birthday parties. Last weekend we joined the school for the annual camping trip to Oxbow. While small talk and mingling have never been our strength, it was easier than we would have imagined. The kids ran wild in the woods, splashed in the river, and laughed with their friends. Max even survived sleeping in the tent - a real surprise to him! The weather was perfect, and I truly can't wait to go again next year.

Here are some shots from the weekend:

Luke at the river

Max crossing the Sandy River

Our friends Gail and Ben enjoying the shade

Dan just chillin'

Some of the artwork from school (scenes depicting the song "What a Wonderful World")

Luke and I at the river

Kiddos enjoying throwing rocks into the river - they could have stayed all day!

It really was great. This week was Max's last week of school, so we also took a couple of shots of this momentous occasion. First - a flashback (his first, nervous morning):

And Friday, filled with confidence and looking so much older:

And with Jude,the amazing director, who is leaving us this year to start a new adventure:

Finally, the fabulous Katie, the guide in his classroom, and an overall amazing woman:
We have just felt so fortunate with this experience. Katie understands Max and appreciates his passion, he has friends who have broadened his world, and with Jude at the helm, it has been the perfect ship for us to be aboard. We are excited to continue the journey next year, when Luke will join the school and Max will continue there for his Kindergarten year.

I just love it when things turn out the way you always hoped they would!

Wahooooooo!!!!

2010-06-19T20:24:00.000-07:00

It's time to celebrate! That's right, summer's here! I'm on vacation!

Well, ok, not entirely on vacation - after all, this is the time of year that I transition to being a stay-at-home mama. And with my two, I have a feeling that I won't just be sitting around resting all day.

But I couldn't be more excited. We have some great things planned: a trip to Canada to meet my nephew, girls' weekend in southern California, a week at my parents' cabin, a trip to the beach, and a wedding. I've gathered art supplies and ideas for projects with the boys. Library books abound, and I'm embarking on a "writing journey" of sorts. There's sewing to be done, and crafts to fiddle with. Our first peas are getting close, and the garden is just waiting for warm weather to take off. I am hoping for time with our playgroup and outings at the zoo. Picnics will be plenty.

It's going to be good. I am so lucky to have this time with the boys and without a firm schedule. I am sure there will be days when I beg Dan to let me go to work because I can't handle one more argument or name-calling. But overall?

I can't wait.

*this picture is totally unrelated - I just couldn't resist sharing it.

Just a little something...

2010-06-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

A typical crazy day during the time between coming home from work and eating dinner:

Checking in...

2010-05-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

(The boys enjoying a good game of "Pirate Adventures")

It's cold and rainy. Luke and I are home sick, and in general it's just a grumpy kind of day. Time to refocus the energy. SO, today you get a list of all that is right in my world:

1. Luke is sitting here holding my hand as he eats his oatmeal. It's a little messy, but I love that he just wants to be close. Both boys have been such cuddlers lately, and I never miss an opportunity to curl up with one or both on the couch.

2. My amazing, incredible sister is getting very close to welcoming her son to their family. This baby boy has no idea just how lucky he is.

3. Maybe a little cheesy, but I'm totally digging the Jason Castro CD. Listening to it non-stop.

4. Max's end-of-soccer pizza party is tonight. I am so thankful that he had such a great time playing his first season of organized sports. (And also a little thankful to get a break from the every weekend commitment of it all.)

5. My ever-talented friend Emily is coming all the way from St. Louis and will be taking our family portraits this weekend. Since meeting her online about 2.5 years ago, I always hoped this opportunity would present itself - and it's here! Cross your fingers for a break in the rain...

6. Summer (the break from school, if not the weather) is only a few short weeks away. With it comes the freedom of schedule I yearn for in a serious way. It's time to start planning some fun!

7. I'm thankful for amazing girlfriends that I can chat into the wee hours with - they inspire me with their energy and passion for pursuing lives of intention and thoughtfulness. They make me want to be a better person.

8. I have the greatest hubby on the planet. Period. And I don't tell him that enough.

9. Finished The Hunger Games on Monday. Got the email that Catching Fire is in at the library. I'm ready to lose a few hours. Normally these aren't my "type" of book - but they are great!

10. My head is full of crafty plans. Now to just find the time to execute them...

And to wrap up, here's a few pics from the last few weeks:

My first pair of knitted socks are finished. I don't love them, but they're done.

Max made his first sandwich on his own - peanut butter and apricots. Yeah - not what I would have chosen, but it worked for him and he was beyond proud!

Spending time with my amazing family on Mother's Day - we were lucky to have Dan's grandma join us from Klamath Falls for the weekend, which made it even more special.

Luke's duckie in time-out. We aren't sure what he did to deserve it, but Luke is a strict enforcer of the rules.

So, that's our world. What's right in yours?

Our new residents...

2010-05-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

Better late than never, right?!

So, a few weeks ago, I was talking with Dan (read: whining to Dan) about how much I missed having pets. As the boys are always quick to remind me, we do have a pet. But for some reason, our beta, Sam, just wasn't cutting it for me. I grew up in a home where there were always dogs and cats, and I missed having a furbaby around. Now, Dan has never been the biggest fan - of either the work or mess that comes with pets. But, he was kind enough to give in. The moment he said ok, I was searching petfinder.com. And the next night the boys and I drove out to Cat Adoption Team to look for a cat.

It took all of 15 minutes for us to find our new housemates. A bonded pair of young male cats (1 year, and 1.5 years) whose owners surrendered them when they moved overseas won us over. The next night we all drove out and picked them up.

Now it seems like they've always been here. Oden (named by Max after his favorite Blazer, Greg Oden) is our orange tabby - he's a little hyper and more sensitive around the boys. Walter (after Walter Payton, my favorite football player of all time) is a large grey, green eyed guy that licks like crazy and is a serious lap cat. We couldn't be happier with the two of them, and for me, they make the house feel even more like a home.

Oden:

Walter:

A new routine...

2010-05-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up we didn't eat together every night. But when we did, we usually started the meal by saying grace - a brief blessing that helped us to center our focus on the time together and the food in front of us. I loved it.

Since becoming a parent I have wanted to incorporate some sort of grace or blessing into our dinner times. But I wasn't sure what form that should take in our home. I just kept having faith that somehow it would come to us. And it did!

About a month ago, Dan and I were feeling a little frustrated with the boys. It was a grumpy day, and all they had done was whine and complain. So we decided to use what Max loves - his school - to try and help us put a positive spin on things. In his class they often end the day with a "thankful circle" - we tried it at dinner. Max led us through the necessary elements - candles, a rock to pass from person to person (to show whose turn it was to talk), and taught us the song they sing. Each of us took our turn sharing something from our day that we were thankful for, and then we wrapped up with a stirring chorus of "I am thankful".

It worked. Instead of thinking of all that had gone wrong, we were focused on the things that had gone right. The next night the boys asked to do it again. And again the night after that. It's been over a month now and sharing something we appreciated in our day is now a major part of our dinner routine. I love the opportunity to hear what Dan and the boys are thankful for, and appreciate the time to think about my own day.

So that's our "grace". It's not traditional, but it works well for our family.

Luke's turn...

2010-04-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

There's one quarter left in what could be the Blazer's last game of the season. I'm watching with that tight stomach that I get during playoff basketball, and if I don't distract myself a little, I find that I take it all too seriously. So, it time for me to give a little update on Luke at almost 2 and a half. Here goes:

- He continues to be our little comedian. He knows it. And he denies it vehemently with a scrunched up face, nasal voice proclaiming, "I not funny. I not funny guys." We can't stop laughing.

- Favorite expressions are "Holy guacamole!", "Mama, I gonna tell you sumpin (something)..." and "It's dark in my eyes"(meaning the light is off in the room he wants to enter).

- He's quite the little brute. Between being in a class of 9 boys and 1 girl at school and having an older brother, he is certain to hold his own in a wrestling match or hanging onto a toy. We're constantly working on "gentle touches". Temper tantrums are happening more often, and are accompanied by swinging arms - we're working on it.

- He loves to be outside, just like Max. He wants desperately to be able to ride a bike, and loves to play ball. Favorite toys are always soccer or footballs.

- He's still a mama's boy in a big way. He asks to cuddle constantly, and wants to be in the same room I am in ALL the time. Dinner is often made with him at my elbow, and he would climb into bed with us every morning, if given the chance.

- Almost every morning he wakes with a smile on his face. He loves the early hours, and NEVER sleeps past about 6:30. This has been a tough thing for the rest of us night owls to adjust to.

- Achievements? Well, he can sing a large number of songs, recite several books from memory (which tends to happen when you hear them a million times), and is potty trained. He's working on dressing himself and buckles his carseat. He has a huge desire to be independant.

- Weird quirks? He insists on sleeping in socks every night. When wearing footie pajamas, the socks go over the footies. He is convinced that he sits in the front seat of the car and that we drive from the back seat. Most of the time he refers to Max not by name, but by calling him "my bruver (brother)".

Really? He's so much fun. And so much work. And so important to our family. I can't imagine there was life without him.

Here's a few shots from the last month:

Weekend of Flowers...

2010-04-18T21:16:00.001-07:00

Ok, I'm exhausted. Who knew that a weekend of looking at flowers could wear me out so much? But really - it was great.

On Saturday we went on a wildflower hike at Memaloose Hills. We had purchased this outing at Max's school auction, and lucked out with great weather. The hike was lead by the amazing director of Max's school, and there were a couple of other families and students to make the whole thing even more fun.

Here are a few shots from the day:

Then today we went on one of my favorite spring outings - the Tulip Festival. Honestly, I was going to let us opt out this year. But when Max heard that this morning, he insisted that we just had to go - and I wasn't going to argue. It was another beautiful sunny day, and we got there as soon as they opened (a key to enjoyment on a nice weekend day during prime bloom). The fields were incredible as always, but I adored the hazelnut grove at the end of this year's field. The beautiful rows of trees, the soft light - just magical. The boys loved the little cow train, the duck pumps, and the bounce houses. All around, it was a great time, and I'm glad we didn't skip it.

Max at 4.5...

2010-04-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

I figured that it is a good time for a little update on each boy - it's been a little while! So without further ado, heeeeeerrrrreeeee's Max!

1. Max is still 100% in love with school. Somehow he has figured out that Montessori is traditionally a 3 year cycle (ages 3-5), and figures he got shortchanged a year. He regularly tries to negotiate staying until he's 6 to make up for starting later.

2. Most of the time he's a little over-protective of Luke. He hates it when Luke gets in trouble (even if it's for hitting him), and regularly tries to work out a lesser "punishment". One morning he woke up with scratches all over his face, and when we asked what happened, he told us that Luke scratched him the night before. He didn't tell us because he didn't want Luke to get in trouble.

3. He still loves books. A couple of months ago we started reading chapter books with him at night, and he amazes us with his understanding of these lengthy stories. He is doing a lot of beginning reading, and it's amazing to watch as he works at sounding out the world around him.

4. The only thing he loves more than books are Legos. He's downright passionate about building with the little bricks, and has very little difficulty with following complicated instructional diagrams. It's so fun to watch him build lots of little "ships" and use the little figures to play out all sorts of adventures. Now if only we could convince him that it is ok to take the things he builds apart...

5. "Space Pirates" is a favorite pretend game. We're never sure exactly what it consists of, but couch cushions and laundry baskets are usually necessary equipment.

6. He's beyond diligent when given a job. The other day I asked him to help me cut out a few cookies. Without any prompting he worked for 1 hour - rolling out batch after batch and cutting out cookies. He refused to stop before the job was done. It's how he approaches most jobs. I hope it's a trait that sticks with him.

7. He has his own vacuum. Our previous handheld vacuum died, and he insisted we needed a new one so he could clean up under his dinner chair. When at the store, he picked out the one he liked best after trying all the different models. Now he uses it nearly every day, always looking for a little chore he can do with his vacuum. I'm trying to talk him into picking out his own toilet brush next...

8. He's not perfect. I know that I've been going on about the great things about him, but there are rough edges on the little guy, too. He will often tease and taunt Luke just to see what will happen. He throws fits if he doesn't get dressed before Luke in the morning. And a quick shove will move a little brother quicker than asking. But the truth? All of these things are happening less and less - just enough to remind us to appreciate the times they don't.

9. He's still in love with all things fireman, but also is showing interest in space and superheroes.
10. He's growing up too fast. He's getting taller, has an incredible vocabulary, and is showing great compassion. He speaks comfortably with adults and is willing to try new opportunities. The fact that he is staying in his current school is allowing me to avoid the fact that he is a few months from starting kindergarten. I'm not ready.

So, that's our big kiddo these days. Our spirited, passionate, fascinating ball of energy and love. And while I don't love the growing up thing, I love the person he's becoming.

Our Easter Roundup...

2010-04-05T16:55:00.000-07:00

There's lots of little things to catch up on around here, and I hope to get a chance for several posts this week. Now that Lent is over, I hope to be back here more often. Lent was a great opportunity to be really mindful of the way I spend my time in the evenings, and I plan to keep the computer off while the boys are awake. But I am going to lighten up a bit with my "down time" computer usage - and that includes blogging a little more regularly.

We had a really great Easter. Maybe one of my favorites as an adult. Laid back, but special. One of those "just right" kind of days.

On Saturday the boys and I colored eggs. I had wanted to try using natural dyes, so Friday night I boiled beets (red), purple cabbage (blue), and turmeric (yellow), adding each to a pint of water and a half cup of white vinegar. Then, when the boys were ready, we laid an old plastic party tablecloth on the floor and set up a makeshift table (plastic storage bin). Using one dye at a time, and wire whisks to hold the eggs, the boys stirred their eggs. I hadn't counted on the fact that the dyes (the blue, especially) would take longer to set. Max was ok with it - Luke, not so much. He was done after about 3 eggs. After we used the red, yellow, and blue, we mixed colors to get our orange, green, and purple. The green was most amazing - the turmeric and cabbage looked brown in the bowl, but after about 15 minutes, the eggs were a nice leaf green. It was a fun process, and I thought the colors turned out great.

Sunday morning was a nice blend of egg hunt, cinnamon rolls, Easter baskets and getting ready for Mass. My parents came up late Saturday night, so they got to join in the festivities. As always they were a great help in getting everything done when it needed to be done, and nothing felt too rushed. The boys enjoyed having them with us at Mass, also.

After Mass we came home for a late lunch. Dan's parents joined us for a fabulous ham (Dan's an amazing cook), potatoes, cornbread with marionberry honey butter, and salad. Dessert was a light sugar cookie (rolled and cut out by Max) with lemon buttercream frosting. Surrounded by people we love enjoying the time together - I couldn't have asked for a better day.

And heck - look at how adorable these two are:

Another first...

2010-03-31T20:59:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm officially a soccer mom. Yup. Tonight Max began his first extracurricular sport - indoor spring soccer. He's on a Pre-K/K team with 13 other kiddos. They have practice one night a week and a game on Saturdays. It's going to be a fun ride, I'm sure.

To be honest, neither Max or I were sure of how tonight's practice was going to go. He was nervous about not knowing anybody - but warmed right up to his coach and was friendly to his little teammates. I had a host of other concerns:
1. Would he listen and follow directions?
2. Would he keep up with the other kiddos?
3. Would he know what he needs to know to not feel behind?
4. Would he be a good sport when things go well AND when things go poorly?
5. Would he have fun?

The answers to the first three were a resounding yes. He was on the same level as his teammates, understood the object of the game, and listened well to Coach Kristy. On being a good sport? He didn't have any issues when things didn't go his way, picked himself up when he fell down, and kept running the entire time. But we have to do a little something about the victory dance after every good kick into the goal...

And did he have fun?

He wants to know why he has to wait a whole week to go again.

A "God Moment"

2010-03-14T20:22:00.001-07:00

So, I'm not a publicly religious person, but I also try to be one of those people who's pretty straight-forward about my life. Yesterday I had one of those "God moments".

I have a student who's in the hospital. She's been suffering from a chronic illness that led to the removal of her colon last week. I've wanted to go and visit, but between daycare pick-ups and living 4o minutes from the hospital, I knew it would have to happen on Saturday. And Saturdays? They're precious. As much as I wanted to show her that I care and am here to support her, my lazy body did not want to leave the house.

But, I did. With Max in tow, we drove across town. We parked in the parking garage and began to walk inside, when a lady shouted to us.

"Um, ma'am? I think you have a flat tire."

Sure enough. And not just a little. Totally. I decided that I would go in, have my visit, and then figure it out. We had a nice visit, and I was glad I went. My student is this model of strength - totally inspirational. But as we walked out, I remembered the tire.

And yes, I wimped out. I called Dan. He offered to come and rescue us - and I accepted. I know how to change a tire - technically. But in REAL LIFE? Ugh. Les Schwab (our local amazing tire chain) could have sent someone, but they were going to take 3 hours, and our AAA membership expired about 3 weeks ago and we haven't renewed yet. So Dan was packing Luke up and they were on their way.

I was feeling lucky. Yeah, I had a flat tire - but I was parked in a dry parking garage, with the flat tire facing an empty handicapped parking spot. A totally safe place for an easy tire change. Dan was there in 30 minutes, and showed me just how glad I was that he came - I'm not sure I possess the strength he had to use to remove the lug nuts. But it wasn't until he got the flat all the way off that I realized just how blessed I was.

{Side note: We knew we needed new tires. We knew that we needed them soon. It just hadn't yet made a weekend to-do list}

The inside of the flat tire was almost entirely separated. How I didn't have a major blow-out at 65 mph on the freeway is still beyond me. A total "God moment" - one of those where you know you were being watched over, protected from tragedy. Why? I'm not sure. But beyond thankful, all the same. All the terrifying-possibilities-that-could-have-been ran through my head. But there we were - safe, sound, and only very slightly inconvenienced. What if we hadn't come to visit my student? Where/when would this have happened? What if it had happened on the freeway? What if it had been a weekday? What if I had both boys with me and Dan couldn't come? The what-ifs were overwhelming, and all leading to the most obvious thing - this couldn't have worked out ANY better. I've never been so lucky to have a flat tire.

From there Dan headed straight to the tire store for four new tires, and I headed home with the boys. And today, my car is much safer.

And I am reminded of just how blessed we are.

One word update...

2010-03-03T20:10:00.001-08:00

Well, two months ago I chose a little word to help me focus my energy for the year. You can read more about it here. But yeah. My word is MINDFUL.

As the weeks have gone on, I have found it transitioning in my head a little. Most of the time it sounds a whole lot more like PAY ATTENTION. Because that's sometimes what I fail to do. I can get so caught up in this thing or that task or multitasking everything that I stop noticing what is right in front of me. And there are a couple of key things that keep popping up on this new radar of mine.

1. Food. It seems that everywhere I go and everyone I talk to is talking about healthful eating. I have immersed myself in reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and In Defense of Food. I have friends trying all sorts of changes in their diets. And I find it all so intriguing. There are definite changes I want to make, but I am not sure what I am willing to commit to at this point. It has alos been nice to get some affirmation that there are some things we are already doing right. And hey - the Portland Farmer's Market opens this weekend! So, it all boils down to wanting to make very conscious and deliberate choices about the way our family eats. Being mindful of how we fuel our bodies.

2. Slowing down. Currently I am reading a couple great books - In Praise of Slowness and Mitten Strings for God. Both focus on really slowing our pace. I find myself so caught up in doing all that I am "supposed" to do, that I don't enjoy or even remember any of it. Both of these reads are giving me the chance to reflect on the choices I make for my time and the freedom to let the unnecessary go. Heck - I may not even continue watching American Idol this season! It's that whole "life goes too quick to spend it doing things that don't matter to you" thing.

Being mindful is showing up in other ways in my life, too. Early last week I showed up to pick Max up from school. He was just coming in to work on an art project for the school auction, and burst into tears when he was sure he was leaving. Now, normally, I would have let him know that I was sorry he was disappointed, but it was time to go pick up Luke. But it just happened to be a day when I didn't have to rush off. And there was no reason he couldn't stay and work. So I sat down next to him at the table, and after instructions, he was off and cutting. I watched for a little while, and then went to talk with his teacher about a couple of resources I was interested in. When I announced (30 minutes later) that it was time to go, he readily agreed and gave me a huge hug. He even thanked me for letting him stay.

When I came to pick him up the next day, the art piece was finished - a large painted paper garden collage. And the petals that he cut for an orange flower were front and center. He was so proud, and I was reminded that slowing down and listening to him can make all the difference. At the auction the following night I had to bid on it - and we were lucky enough to win it! When Max sees it he sees the hard work of he and his friends. Luke sees a pretty picture.

But I see the great things that come from slowing down and being mindful.

A typical Sunday morning in our house.....

2010-03-01T20:11:00.000-08:00

Here's a shot of the boys this Sunday morning. I apologize for the loudness of my voice - but it's worth it for a little cuteness. Hope you enjoy it - it's the first time I've posted a video.

Geocaching...

2010-02-23T15:00:00.001-08:00

Way back B.K. (Before Kids), when Dan and I were looking for a good excuse to get outside and walk around, we would often go geocaching. For those of you unfamiliar, it is basically like a grown-up scavenger or treasure hunt. People (anyone who wants to) hide a cache (usually containing random small trinkets and a logbook) and post the longitude and latitude on a geocaching website. Then anyone with a GPS can search for a cache - get a latitude and longitude, and off you go!

We went a couple of times when Max was a baby, but since then, it has fallen by the wayside. This weekend was full of fabulous weather, and we thought it was a good time to start up again. Dan chose a couple of local caches, we hopped in the car, and off we went.

Max, as always, was filled with questions. What were we doing? How did it work? Why did we have to take our stuff (a sheet of stickers and container of playdough) and give it away. We did our best to answer them, but the first cache hunt did a much better job.

We got as close as it looked like we could with the car, then began walking. Dan let Max hold the GPS and direct us. It only took about 4 minutes to find - a perfect, fast result for kiddos who weren't quite sold. The cache itself wasn't particularly interesting, but it was enough for Max. He couldn't wait to do the next one.

We tried 3 caches on Saturday (found 2). Both boys loved being outside - Max loved the hunt, and Luke was happy to be along for the ride. Dan and I had a good time sharing something we've enjoyed. And better yet, both boys keep asking when we can go again.

Here's a great site to check out if you are interested in giving geocaching a shot:
Geocaching.com. With over 900,000 current caches, there's sure to be one near you!

Lent

2010-02-18T12:57:00.001-08:00

Just a little FYI...

For Lent I am really cutting back time on the computer. I have found that it has become the area where I get sucked in and don't make the choices I want to be making for my life. So, it needs to be returned to it's rightful place. I'm limiting myself to 30 minutes a night - email, social groups, all that. Blogging, too.

I hope that I'll still find time in that to share little bits of our days - sometimes maybe just a few pictures will have to suffice. But, it's what I need right now.

Thanks - and see you more after Easter!

Preparing the Valentines...

2010-02-15T21:37:00.000-08:00

I know that I am a couple of days late in getting these posted, but thought I would share a few pictures from our Valentine crafting extravaganza. For the first time, both boys needed Valentines to take to school - 15 and 17, respectively. And I hold it as a source of pride that in my childhood I never took store-bought Valentines to my friends and classmates. Therefore, neither should my boys, right?

I wanted something that was "abstract" and easy to reproduce multiple times that the kids could do with only a little cheerleading. I also wanted to try and use only things that I had on hand. Those requirements lead me to the old classic - potato stamps. I cut a couple of hearts, Max grabbed the paint that he wanted, and we laid the white cardstock on the kitchen floor.

I have to confess that at first I did more micro-managing than I wanted. Worrying about mess, I forgot to just let them go and enjoy it. Fortunately for all of us, I did eventually remember that paint washes and there weren't going to be any messes we couldn't clean up. I grabbed the camera, stepped back, and watched them go.

It was beautiful. Max was very serious, thinking about his friends at school and being very deliberate and intentional. He liked the pure red and orange, and found that by adding the dot paints, he was able to get the look he wanted. Luke, as is his nature, was much more free-form. Mixing paints, stamping, smearing, and even adding a paintbrush, he filled his pages in rapid fire. I was inspired, watching both of my boys working and creating (once their mama got out of their way).

The final product was a quarter sheet of their heart painted paper mounted on construction paper. Max signed each of his, and I signed Luke's. They weren't masterpieces, but they were made with love and in the spirit of the holiday. And it was way more fun than buying them at the store.

"Mama, everyone can...."

2010-02-08T21:13:00.000-08:00

He'd gone to bed, and all had been quiet for about 15 minutes. Then out came the little feet padding along the hallway. His big eyes round and sad.

"Mama, everyone can read, and I can't."

I reassured Max that no, not everyone can read yet, and that he is doing a great job with his letters and sounds.

"But, Mama, even babies can read. I saw that on a show - the baby knew 'clap' and I didn't. And at my school kids can read. More girls than boys, but I can't do it."

Oh. First of all, I hate that darn commercial. I'm sure many of you have seen it. You know, the babies and the flash cards and the "reading". As a reading teacher I just want to scream. It's not "reading" - it's decoding. Not that it is bad, but I believe it just plays on all those insecurities we have as parents. We're never doing enough to help our children reach their full potential if they aren't reading by their 2nd birthday. If only I had spent hours working on flash cards teaching my child through skill and drill rather than cuddling my child in my lap as I read to him.

As if.

But now I am even angrier that something like that has caused my son to feel bad about himself. He has NOTHING to feel bad about. He is moving along at the right speed for him. That's part of what we love about his school so much - when he wants to work on reading, he can work on reading. If he would rather work on math, or practical life skills, he can do those too. He will learn all of it in time - in HIS time. Not when some stupid guy on a commercial tells him he should.

So what do I tell this concerned little boy in my lap? First of all, that if he feels he wants to learn to read, we can work on it. Second of all, his brain and body are growing in so many ways we want to enjoy all of those things, and not worry about one. And third of all? That commercial is silly. And people on TV aren't allowed to make us feel bad.

And lastly? Go back to bed.

A normal evening...

2010-02-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

One thing I have found as a mom of two young children is that life is NEVER boring. There is always something to keep you on your toes - some adventure to be had. And silliness abounds.

The other day it was an animal safari. Max spent quite a bit of time setting up animals in mysterious locations and then sent Luke and I to search for them. When we found them we had to recite the given script: "Oh dear, there's a __________. I didn't expect to see that there." Over and over. For about 50 animals.

That was followed by an episode of "Kitchen Tools as Accessories". The whisk that is stuck into the back of the pants to function as a tail or the colander hat/drum combo are popular. But none can beat the allure of the "toms" (read:tongs). Fortunately we have two pairs so each child can have their own. They are used as headphones, stethoscopes, long-range pinchers, necklaces, and toy extractors.

From jousting with the toms, we then found ourselves needing further weapons. Well, look no further than the back of the couch. Like he was in training to star in the next Sword in the Stone, Luke reaches down between the cushions and discovers our one sword. Off they go. But you know what? When they were done, they both very deliberately came back to the couch to return the sword to it's rightful place.

The truth is that it never ends. One game to the next. It's fascinating, really, to just follow them through the evening. And exhausting. All of the above happened in about 30 minutes while I was making dinner.

A new sound in our home...

2010-01-27T21:05:00.000-08:00

So, I don't write about Dan too often. Mostly it is out of respect for his privacy. He doesn't read this, and I don't blame him - hearing about your life through someone else's eyes would feel pretty strange. But tonight I can't help but write about him and the new gift he is giving our family.

After bugging him about ideas for Christmas, about a week and a half before the day itself, he comes out with the fact that he would really like a used guitar. This wasn't totally out of the blue. Nine years ago we went to the EMP (Experience Music Project in Seattle) just after it's opening. There was a room there filled with "tester" instruments - basically the early version of Guitar Hero, but with real instruments. He had a blast playing around with the guitar and bass, and since then has had this idea that someday he would like to learn how to play.

Well, it turns out that he wanted to make this that time. So, being the romantic that I am, I gave him ...a check. Turns out that after some conversations with guitar playing friends, the guitar player should really choose their own instrument. It needs to fit them, feel and sound good to them, and motivate them to put the work in. And about two weeks after Christmas, he found it - a steel blue electric guitar. (Now, he had told me that he wanted an acoustic, but I always knew that there was a deeper yearning to be a crazy rocker lurking in the heart of my mild-mannered computer geek.)

Like everything else he does well, Dan is teaching himself. He plays every night, and in fact, is out with friends tonight playing. The callouses are developing on the tips of his fingers and the practicing of chords reigns supreme.

And I am in love with his new hobby. Nightly I get the gentle sounds of strumming cascading down the stairs to where I sit working on my laptop. The boys eagerly follow him up and beg to help strum, or join in on their own instruments. And Dan himself is finding a great release at the end of the day that he has been hoping for.

My house is filled with music, and I owe him big for his Christmas gift that turned out to be a present for all of us.

This is the end...

2010-01-23T21:04:00.000-08:00

And it's bittersweet.

For the first time in 5 years I am not pregnant or nursing.

Over the last couple of weeks, Luke has weaned. Or I dried up. Or more than likely, some combination of the two.

I remember how sad I was when Max stopped nursing. I was five months pregnant, and he was 23 months old. Since Luke was on the way, I knew that I would have another chance. Now, I really am done.

Nursing my babies has been an incredible gift. They were both easy and avid nursers from the days they were born. Other than some minor discomfort at the beginning and one round of mastitis, things have been textbook. And don't think that for a second I don't know just how lucky I am for that. Years of late night feedings, months of pumping, hours upon hours sitting with babe in arms. It was something that I could give them that no one else could. I am proud that neither of my boys ever had a drop of formula. And it may sound silly, but I can't tell you the number of prayers I've said in thanks for the privilege of breastfeeding.

Luke is 26 months old. I'm not ready for him to not be my baby any more. But it's times like these that I have to admit he's growing up. I already miss those eyes looking up at me like I'd given him the world. The weight of him in my arms. The wiggling legs and satiated grin. They're burned into my brain and onto my soul. I hope that I never forget.

I miss it already.

Facebook rabbit hole...

2010-01-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here tonight in a quiet house. Dan's off playing guitar with some friends, and the beasties are in bed. I've got a stack of papers to grade, and American Idol on the tivo. All in all, a fairly average evening.

Then, I pop open facebook. Read some status updates, laugh at friends' children and the funny things they do. Wish a high school friend happy birthday. And stumble upon the announcement that a college friend has released a single that is getting airplay. WHAT?! Seriously? And then I'm off to check out his webpage and buy one of his songs on iTunes. Then I'm watching an interview of him on youtube.

And I'm now sitting here stunned. And a little down. In the last ten years he has earned a heavy degree from a prestigious university (not the one we attended together), worked as an investment banker, moved to the UK, became an amazing slam poet, and now is releasing a hip hop CD. That is quite the 10 years. And mine is not nearly that exciting.

Want to hear my 10 years? Got married. Taught middle school. Had two kids. The end.

But you know, it gets me to thinking. Would I have wanted his 10 years or mine? If you know me at all, you already know the answer.

And then you know that I have to reform my list:

1. I was lucky enough to meet the person I will spend the rest of my life with. The person who pushes me every day to be better than I am today, and loves me unendingly despite my journeys down the facebook rabbit hole.

2. Every day parents trust me with the most precious thing in their lives, and ask me to help shape their children. I get to spend every day with 62 passionate, energetic, justice-and-truth driven individuals who have it well within their capabilities to change this world. Over the last 10 years, I have shared the lives of over 800 students, and even altered the course of a few lives.

3. I grew two people. Two people who make me laugh harder than I've ever laughed before. Two people who someday will find their own paths to their passions but today are content to cuddle on the couch and tell me they love me best (when they aren't loving their daddy best).

You know, it's not so bad to be me. Sure, it doesn't sound as glamorous as some, but I never was one for all the flash and excitement. Give me a blanket on the couch, sleeping babies in bed, conversation with the man I love, and yarn in hand.

And while I get flashes of jealousy for the lives that I don't have, those flashes are quickly replaced with the reminder that I have the life I want.

Settling into winter...

2010-01-10T20:58:00.001-08:00

This last week has felt like we are preparing to settle into winter. I know that most of you believe that winter started over a month ago - I consider December "Holiday Season", separated from regular winter by all the hustle and bustle of preparing for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.

January feels like when winter really begins. That time of year when things go internal. We stay in our homes more, avoiding foul weather. For me, I also find that I stay in my head a little more. My brain starts hatching plans - but that's all they are at this point. Lots of plans, ideas. Not necessarily a lot of action - which I'm ok with. After all, spring is a time for action. And it will be here soon enough.

In the meantime, I thought I'd show a couple of the crafties that was working on before Christmas. Now that they've been gifted, so here they are:

Here are some fingerless gloves that were knitted from this pattern. (This is one glove from each of the pairs, not just a crazy stash-busting project) They knit up really quickly, and are fun. My favorite thing was working with the Dream in Color yarn - it is just so soft and the variation in the color is perfect.

Another knitting project for Christmas was a series of three hats (Dan's isn't pictured, as it wasn't finished until right before gifting.) They were from the pattern here, and again were a quick knit for this busy crafting season.
Another project I had a great time working on was a knitting bag, needle roll, and pouch for my little sister. I used the Birdie Sling pattern from Amy Butler, a combination of online tutorials for the needle roll, and the instructions from Bend the Rules for the pouch. The fabric is all from a great Joel Dewberry line that I had been drooling over for a while, but couldn't figure out how to use.

And finally, another quick knitting project - washcloths for my grandma. These are from a fun little pattern on the Purl Bee:

All great crafting fun. Thanks for taking a look! Hope your winter is settling in nicely...

Things heard around my house the last few days....

2010-01-03T21:14:00.000-08:00

1. "Ok, do you want to be a pilot ogre or a controller ogre?" (Max) "Ummmmm, piyot ogre, 'k?" (Luke)

2. "Moooooom, you just need to be patient." (Max)

3. "I so lucky, mama!" (Luke)

4. "Aunt Carrie loves me, Grandma loves me, Grandpa Tom loves me, Mema loves me, Papa loves me, Aunt Erin loves me....." - on and on naming every family member he knows. (Luke)

5. "Super hero firefighter pirates to the rescue!" (Max)

6. "But I don't wanna go back to school!" (Me)

Welcome 2010!

2010-01-02T22:08:00.000-08:00

You know what? Looking back at the year that just ended is for sissies.

Ok, totally kidding. It's for those who have a healthy sense of reflection and appreciation for all that they have accomplished. My problem is that I have an incredibly overactive sentimentality gland (right next to the Catholic guilt gland), and tend to get lost in wallowing in what was. I lose all perspective and appreciation for what will be.

So this year, I'm just moving forward. Welcome to Two Thousand Ten, or Twenty Ten or Two-Zero-One-Zero, or whatever you are rolling with.

One of my favorite new traditions is the "One Word" tradition that I first heard of while reading Ali Edward's blog a couple years ago. Essentially you choose one word that you want to focus your attention on, or symbolizes your goals/hopes for the year. This last year my word was "Cultivate". It was a word that worked really well in helping me focus in sometimes on what I wanted to be doing with my time.

This year my word is...

mindful

1 : bearing in mind : aware
2 : inclined to be aware

Far too often, I feel like I don't have the time to do the things I want to do. But the truth is, I DO have the time - I just choose to use it in other ways. Watching junk TV, frittering away hours just cruising from one website to another, and puttering around the house are all time vacuums that provide me with little joy or fulfillment. I really want to spend this year being mindful of how I spend my days. When I am with my boys, I want to really be with them. When I'm not actively enjoying my evenings, I want to work on sewing or knitting or blogging or reading or taking a bubble bath or whatever it is that will help me feel more fulfilled. I also want to be very mindful of what it is that I put into my body, and how I am helping to make my body healthier. I want to be mindful that I am nurturing my relationships with others, rather than taking a passive approach with people I love.

Basically, I'm looking to place a big neon sign in my brain that screams "PAY ATTENTION". It's the old cliche that time goes too quickly, but I don't want to miss any of the goodness going on in my world because I was too busy wasting time.

So, MINDFUL it is.

For those of you out there who have chosen a word for the year, what is it? Leave me a comment - there just might be something in it for you...

Our second Christmas...

2010-01-01T20:56:00.000-08:00

After a great Christmas with Dan's family, we headed out to spend a week with mine. My little cousin Mychael was getting married, so my sister, brother-in-law, and niece came from Ottawa for the week, and we joined them at my parents' house.

Having all three kiddos together was so much fun. Luke and Savannah are about 5 months apart, and seem to antagonize each other more than enjoy the company. But Max and Savannah - they've got a special relationship. It's quite the mutual admiration society. My parents were in heaven having all three grandchildren together, and it was only improved by my sister's perfect little pregnant belly with promise of more fun to come (in late May or early June).

The wedding was beautiful. Mychael and Kieran are a couple so obviously in love, and celebrating with them was a blessing. It was also a great time to hang out with my other cousins and their children. And thanks to a babysitter, Dan and I got to enjoy the reception sans children.

The rest of our time there was spent enjoying time together. My mom, sister and I enjoyed taking advantage of a sale at an amazing quilting store, we hung out with cousins some more, went and saw Avatar 3D, and celebrated my mom's birthday with a girls' viewing of New Moon and some banana cream pie (I won't mention the tragedy of the peanut butter pie, Erin!).

For me, the highlight of our time there was just the moments spent at home. My niece is the cutest, funniest little bug. She is dainty and petite in every way that my boys are rough and rowdy, and I loved getting to play with her. My brother -in-law Alex is great for all the football we can get, and he and Dan had a great time playing Wii. Although my Dad had to work for most of our visit, we made sure to enjoy the evenings together with some heated Wii and Apples to Apples. My mom is the most generous host and Mema on Earth, and there's nothing I like better than celebrating her on her birthday.

And then there's my sister. Love her. Hate that she lives so far away. Admire her as a mama and think she's the most beautiful preggo on the planet. Most of all, I miss her.

So our second Christmas? That one was pretty magical, too.

Lots to catch up on...

2010-01-01T17:33:00.000-08:00

Ah, yes, we are very lucky indeed.

The last week has been a glorious one with lots of family, generosity, and laughter. We have enjoyed two Christmases, one wedding, a birthday, and the dawn of a new year. Most of that time was spent in the company of those we love best.

With today being New Year's, I am tempted to jump right to that, and my thoughts on the year ahead. But I can't do that without a little reflection on the year that just ended. And then there's Christmas. Can't leave that out - too many fun memories that need to have their place. So that's where we will start.

(Now, I know that many of you are over the whole Christmas "thing". If so, wait a day or two and pop back in.)

After spending Christmas eve going to Mass and then Dan's parents' home for clam chowder, Christmas day was at our place. It was perfect. Both boys awoke around 7, watched an episode of "Ni Hao, Kai Lan", and then remembered it was Christmas. They came to the fireplace area to see that Santa had indeed been there (as evidenced by the crumbs of missing sugar cookies). Both boys squealed and begged to begin opening gifts.

Luke received a kitchen - he loves to play chef, and this one is the perfect fit for him. He really enjoyed preparing food for all of us and opening and closing the oven and cupboard.

Max had been very specific about what he hoped to receive from Santa - and we all hoped that he wouldn't be disappointed by Santa's interpretation of that gift. Instead of two big firetrucks (a noisy one for outside and a quiet one for inside, remember?), he was given the Lego fire station. Well, rest assured, there was nothing but joy for that little boy. He was in love. He immediately wanted to start building - and he continued throughout the entire day.

Mid-morning my in-laws came over. We shared cinnamon rolls and watched the boys play before opening gifts. It was so nice to take the day at a leisurely pace.

Here's Dan reading a new book to the boys, who were enjoying new additions to the dress-up box:

And Aunt Carrie and Max, with his big-boy gift - an iPod shuffle:

We wrapped up the day with an early dinner. My sister-in-law planned and prepared the most amazing feast:

Seriously - heaven. Carrie is an amazing cook. And it was the perfect wrap-up to a wonderful Christmas day.

It is days like these that just reinforce how lucky I am to have married into such a great family. It was magical to watch the boys and their absolute excitement in leading up to Christmas, and to have the day equal the build-up was perfect.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

2009-12-23T23:14:00.000-08:00

So, it's the eve of Christmas Eve, and things are starting to take shape. We're in that crunch time moment of wondering if everything is going to get done.

- Presents are about 75% wrapped and under the tree.

- Stocking stuffers are prepared.

- Most of the crafting is done.

- My sister, brother-in-law, and niece have arrived in the state.

- My sister-in-law arrived Monday and has planned an incredible menu for Christmas day.

- The roast beef is thawing in the fridge.

- The weather is perfectly chilly and without snow - just the way I like it.

- Both boys have been singing the snippets of Christmas songs they know.

- I am thoroughly sick of the Made in Oregon radio commercial.

- Max is claiming to need glitter. Tomorrow. Blue and green and white.

- The house is a disaster and I have no time to whip it into shape.

- I'm craving some time to just sit and stare at the Christmas tree.

We're almost there. Hard to believe that in 48 hours it will all be over. Well, until our next Christmas with my family on Sunday....

Here's hoping that all is going well as you move into your celebrations! Merry Christmas Eve's Eve!

A minor miracle...

2009-12-22T21:58:00.000-08:00

Today the most amazing thing happened.
For over an hour, both boys played independently.
I sewed.
Another Christmas present was finished.

Ta Da!

*Check back in a week for some crafty goodness to share, once things have been gifted to intended recipients!

A rare Sunday night...

2009-12-21T21:58:00.000-08:00

Most Sunday nights are a combination of wistful longing for another day of weekend and the mad panic of getting everything ready for the week. They stress me out.

But, not this one. This was the first Sunday of Winter Break. We needed to celebrate.

The first step was dinner. Max wanted pizzas, so we decided to throw our first "Make Your Own Pizza" night. Both boys loved painting their tomato sauce on the Boboli crusts (yeah, next time I'll try homemade) and then piling on the toppings of their choice. Max just wanted lots of everything, and ended up with a 2.5 inch tall pizza. Luke liked to put the toppings on, but then ate them immediately - only about 2 of his pineapple pieces made it to the oven. The results were enjoyed by all, and it was great seeing how much the boys enjoyed the process.

After dinner we piled into the car to go check out Christmas lights. Being new to this area we decided to just stay around here and cruise the neighborhoods. We were well rewarded. Max loved to narrate and point out every house we went by that has any lights. Some were even given the high praise of being "cool". The best were given the "Oh wow! That's awesome!" award. Luke mostly oohed and ahhhed. I took notes on how I want to improve ours for next year. We drove around for about half an hour just enjoying the time together and the energy put into the holidays by our neighbors.

A good time was had by all.

A night downtown...

2009-12-20T12:29:00.000-08:00

One of the things that we decided that we definitely wanted to do this Christmas season was spend an evening downtown. We knew that it wouldn't happen if it didn't get on the schedule, so Thursday became our "Downtown Evening".

The boys and I picked up Dan at work, and we headed on into town. On the way we stopped at Laurelwood (a brew pub with a play area) for dinner. It was great - the boys played while we waited for our food, we all ate in relative peace, and they we left. It's been a while since a meal out as a family went as smoothly.

Arriving downtown, both boys were instantly captivated by the bucket-drumming street performers. Max even got the chance to do a little drumming himself. It's amazing how much noise someone so small can produce with a stick and a bucket when surrounded by tall concrete sound reflectors! The lights on the trees glittering off the wet pavement, the general sense of excitement in the air, the laughter of the kiddos - all picture perfect.

One of our big reasons for the evening was our visit to the Santa at Macy's. The line was about 30 minutes long, but the decorations and making our list for Santa did a great job of keeping everyone occupied. Even when we were third in line and Santa needed to take a break to go feed his reindeer, Max and Luke hung in there like champs. Right in front of us was a young teen whose parents were paying him to sit on Santa's lap - they all joked about it, but it was a great reminder about how quickly these years will go.

Any time we have asked Luke what he would like for Christmas, all he has said is Santa. That, and "hold Santa's hand". But, as these things often go, the reality of Santa was too much. No lap for him. In fact, he now says, "Santa very nice, Santa scary." He did give Santa a little fist bump before we left.

Max, on the other hand, was totally ready. He hopped right up there, spoke loudly and clearly, and asked for another firetruck. Yes, Santa brought Max a firetruck last year. And we also got another one at a consignment sale. But our dear Max wants yet another. In fact, as he told Santa, he wants, "a noisy one for outside and a quiet one for inside." Santa listened very seriously, and talked with both boys for a few minutes. Overall a great experience.

Then we went down to Pioneer Courthouse Square and saw the B-I-G Christmas tree. Both boys loved seeing it, and had just as much fun running up and down the long ramp into the square. Much laughing, chasing, and reveling in the moment.

It was a wonderful evening. I'm so glad that we did it - and it's definitely going back on the agenda for next year.

Catching up....

2009-12-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

We've been so busy enjoying the season, that I fell a little behind around here. Sorry about that. But really, isn't that the goal of it? Being in the moment?

Wednesday was book club night. Back in July the moms from my playgroup decided we needed to get together as grown-ups more often. Our option of choice? Book club one month, mom's night out the next. This month we were discussing Push of the Sky by a local author, Camille Alexa. But, as always, it's mostly just an excuse to hang out and chat. This time we also had a little cookie exchange.

I am beyond lucky to have these women in my life. Parenting is so much easier with a village, and they are a large part of my village.

So, ladies, if you're reading? Thanks. And I don't care how late the school nights are - it's worth it.

2009-12-15T21:46:00.000-08:00

A Tuesday List of Randoms:

1. My classroom got heat today for the first time in a week and a half - it was wonderful!

2. Tonight was the night for making buckeyes, my favorite "Christmas" cookie. Yummy.

3. Dan made a delicious chocolate mousse pie.

4. Tonight we were the noisy family in the library. The librarian actually rolled his eyes as I had to chase after Luke while we were at the check-out. I just wanted credit for being there.

5. Book club is tomorrow night and I can't wait to see the girls.

6. Our Twelve Days of Christmas swap continues to be so much fun.

7. I'm praying for improved health (or at least answers) for my sister and brother-in-law.

8. The Blazers won tonight, which makes any night better.

9. Hershey Chocolate Mint Truffle Kisses are amazing.

10. I've got way too much chocolate on the brain and in my house.

Right now...

2009-12-14T21:08:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here at the kitchen counter, reading emails and checking Facebook. In the background I'm listening to/watching my favorite Christmas movie of all time, White Christmas. I just finished dipping my first batch of truffles in chocolate, and the boys are asleep in their beds. I'm hoping to head up and do a little sewing upstairs while I finish the movie. After a long day at work, I'm trying to revel in the push that Christmas gives me to do the things I love.

I also need to make a confession. I haven't gotten our Christmas card together yet. I hope to do it tomorrow night, but am also realizing that we may be looking at a New Year's card instead. So, please accept my apology for their lateness and know that we are indeed thinking of all of you. Please don't cut us off your list quite yet!

Merry Monday. And good night.

You HAVE to check this out!

2009-12-13T11:53:00.000-08:00

I know, I know - two posts in a morning? I must have lost my mind! But I have just seen the most amazing, inspiring thing.

I have a dear friend Emily who has a fabulous blog. She is a mama first but also is a professional photographer and fantabulous crafter. This last week (in the midst of a move, by the way) she has provided us with a week of genius crafty tutorials. Singed fabric floral clips, a beautiful banner, a wallet for driving toy cars, reusable snack bags, and the most amazing mailbox ever all grace the pages of her blog.

Seriously? You have to go check her out. And leave her some love - we all need it after a big move. And if you do? You just might win something.

Here she is:
Emily Southerland

This morning...

2009-12-13T10:42:00.000-08:00

One game Max really enjoys lately is playing "Bookstore". (Yeah, I know, I know. His dad and I couldn't be more proud.) He gathers a bunch of his books, sets them up in a nice display on our stairs, then invites us to shop. The prices are determined by the value he personally assigns to the book. If it's well loved, it might be sixty dollars and one hundred cents, or even a google. If it's not, a common 55 cent bargain can be found. He's also got the salesman patter down - talking up each book as he lays it out.

But my favorite comment of the morning? Today all books about Jesus are free, "'cause they're so important". Love it.

The storm that wasn't...

2009-12-12T22:24:00.000-08:00

We were supposed to get a winter storm today. Snow and then freezing rain. That's our usual dreaded combination, and it leaves us stuck in the house. And to be honest, I was looking forward to it this weekend. I figured we could go outside, take a few cute pics, and then curl up on the couch for movies and popcorn.

But it didn't happen. The storm passed us by, and all we got was some misty rain. The roads will be slick in the morning, but that's probably about it.

We had a great day anyway. One filled with time together and lots of playing. Dan and Max made a giant blanket fort - one of the best I've seen. Luke and I went to the fabric store and found the perfect elements for a couple of Christmas presents. I got to cut out a pattern, make a quick gift. Dan bottled his second batch of beer. The boys chased each other all around the house, had a blast with some great skin crayons, and ended their day with a bubble bath.

There's still a lot to do before we are ready for the holidays. But we are sure taking advantage of any excuse to enjoy the time. Even if it didn't snow.

Family viewing...

2009-12-11T19:03:00.000-08:00

It's rare for all four of us to gather around the TV to watch the same program. About the only thing that will do it is a playoff Blazer game. But that's exactly where we found ourselves tonight.

Tonight we introduced the boys to one of our very favorite Christmas shows: How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The old Boris Karloff one, not the Jim Carey version. It's still just as wonderful as it was when we were little - and the boys were transfixed.

It these kinds of little moments shared together that make the season slow down, help us to appreciate the time.

And the songs get stuck in my head for days. Love 'em.

Starting the clean-out

2009-12-10T20:42:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, my family decided to create individual online wishlists for holidays and birthdays. While "off-list" gifts are fabulous and very appreciated, these lists gave people an idea of somewhere to start. A couple of weeks ago I started to work on lists for the boys. And then I ran into a problem.

We've got too much stuff. Trying to find things to put on the boys' lists was really tough. They are both so very fortunate to have a LOT of toys. They also have a mama who is pretty picky about the kinds of things we have in our home (we avoid licenced characters, lots of plastic and electronic toys for the most part). What I realized is that it is time to do some cleaning out of things we are no longer using.

On the way home today Max and I were talking about our excess of toys. We also were discussing the fact that there are lots of children who are much less fortunate. And you know what? He came the conclusion I was hoping he would. Yup. We should give some of our toys to kids that don't have any.

So, after dinner tonight, we decided to get started. We began by tackling the toy box full of stuffed animals. The boys got to choose their favorites and put those back in the box. The "leftovers" were then lined up and we set a number that they thought they would be reasonable for keeping. There was some heavy discussion, negotiations, and trades. But at the end, we had a small bag for donation. The hardest part is letting go of my attachment to some of them.

This weekend we're tackling the playroom. I hope I'm a little better at letting go - because the boys have got the right idea....

House of Boys....

2009-12-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

My sister called tonight. And about three minutes in, I'm sure she wished she hadn't.

You see, I live in a house of monkeys. The screaming and squealing and hooting and hollering is one thing. My delightful brother in law could hear them - and neither the boys nor my brother in law were on the phone. And the noise? Only rivaled by the climbing and rolling and leaping and wrestling. If they aren't monkeys, then they are certainly puppies.

Some days it's more than I can take. But today all I could do was laugh. It's the utter joy and delight that they find in this activity. The laughter that accompanies it wells from a place utterly deep in their bellies. All I can do is watch out for flying limbs and unruly drool.

While the youngest is just starting to grin and proudly announce, "I tooting!", the oldest is now finding great humor in all things potty humor. Especially at the dinner table. And don't tell him I told you, but my dear husband seems to find amusement in this behavior also.

It's a strange planet. But I'm glad I live here. It challenges me to take greater risks, play a little harder, and cheer louder than I thought possible.

And if you need a good scream, you're welcome to my House of Boys any time.

December 8th...

2009-12-08T21:19:00.000-08:00

Confession time: I have written and erased three posts tonight. My brain just isn't here. It could have been zapped by the staff development morning followed by the teaching afternoon. Or perhaps it was dragging two boys around the outlet mall for an hour earlier this evening. Maybe it's the weather/mood/shampoo/whatever. But tonight I'm just going with a list of random things I'm thankful for:

1. Heat. There isn't any in my classroom - which makes me all the more appreciative that I have it in my car and my home.

2. Max - this morning he described the Wise Men as "the guys who work with Joseph"

3. Luke - he came and cuddled with me this morning, and tried just have his little face touching as much of my face as possible

4. Dan - he's been great about little surprises lately. Yesterday it was the new Jimmy Buffet album loaded into itunes.

5. Sunshine - hey - it's not raining, which I know I'll really appreciate soon enough

6. Anything chocolate and mint. Enough said.

7. Schedules that allow our little family to have dinner together nearly every single night.

8. Creative energy floating in my head - even if I'm not getting to act on it, I'm glad it's there to keep me going.

I hope that all of you had a wonderful day, and that I have more for you tomorrow. Peace out.

December 7th....

2009-12-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

Today was the start of something magical. But it involves a little background. So bear with me - I'll get there, I promise.

Before Max was concieved, I found myself a member of Babycenter, a website/store/community centered on all things baby. First as a member of a "Trying to Conceive" board, then a Clomid Support board, and finally a birth board - August '05. On the birth board I became a part of close group of women from around the country (and the UK).

When I got pregnant with Luke, I didn't think I would join another birth board - a "been there, done that" feeling, if you will. But somewhere during the first trimester I was really wanting to connect with others who were having the same joy of expecting that I was. So I ventured over to the November '07 board. And the rest, they say, is history. I became part of another very special group of women from around the country.

One thing that we had in common was a love of all things crafty. Last Christmas, many of the women decided to do a gift exchange with crafts and treasures and sharing of traditions. I didn't join - I was far too intimidated. But once the gifts started to be opened and shared, I realized I needed to man up - and there was no way I would miss another one. Since then there have been a couple of other swaps - Valentines, Mother's Day, and and Artist Trading Card swap.

But today began our Twelve (Thirteen) Days of Christmas Swap. There are two teams of women who each made 13 gifts and sent them around the country to their team. Each day for the next thirteen days I have a little gift to open. Today I got to open a perfect little package containing lip balm and soap. Tomorrow's had to be refrigerated - curiosity is piqued!

It's these little bits of magic...the surprises...the thought that a friend I've never met from halfway across the country sent me a perfect gift. Can you beat it?!

(Oh - and here's the blog if you want to follow along with our Twelve days of Christmas)

St. Nicholas Day...

2009-12-06T17:18:00.000-08:00

And what a gift it was....

Every once in a while we are all given a day where things just go right. I swear it's to help you through all those days that just, well, don't. (Greg Oden, anyone?!) And today has been one of those blessed days for me.

After getting to sleep until almost seven, Max and I got up and put the ornaments on the tree. He was a great helper - I don't even need to secretly rearrange his once he goes to bed. While Dan went to visit his mom, the boys and I headed to mass - Luke in the nursery and Max with me. We came home to finish the tree, eat lunch, and nap (for the boys). While both boys rested, I was able to put up the rest of the decorations. When Max got up he went outside with Dan to put the lights up. We rounded out the evening with a fire in the fireplace (Thanks for the wood, Mom and Dad!) and soup with homemade biscuits.

We also started a new tradition to celebrate St. Nicholas Day. Max and I talked about how St. Nicholas is known for his generosity and helping people in need, and how important it is for us to do the same. To honor this day, we tried to help those who need it (this year we stayed small for today - helping others in our family when needed). And as a fun bonus? "St. Nicholas" gifted Max and Luke with their very own hot cocoa mugs. While I may never remember to leave the shoes out on the right night, I hope to remember to encourage our family to give to others in need each holiday season, in the spirit of St. Nicholas.

I hope that your day was wonderful and joyous too! What fun holiday traditions are you enjoying this season?

Happy December!

2009-12-05T21:37:00.000-08:00

December is my favorite month of the year. I'm totally a summer person, but there is nothing that beats the magic of this holiday season. The intense push to enjoy each moment and make every day special and celebrated really jives with my desire to live intentionally.

Ali Edwards does a great December Dailies Album, and Jessica Sprague has a great holiday class (Holidays in Hand). Every year I have wanted to try some sort of daily documentation of this month. I am trying my best to be realistic - a beautiful album isn't in the cards for me this year. But blogging? I can do that.

So, starting today, I am going to do my best to document something every day for the next few weeks.

Why start today? Because Christmas officially came to our house today.

Hands down, my favorite holiday decoration is the Christmas tree. And living in the middle of about 1000 Christmas tree farms, they are plentiful. Today we went to a new tree farm to continue our holiday tradition of cutting our own tree.

[Sidenote: Growing up, our family had a wonderful tradition of going out to the woods to cut our Christmas tree every year. While the trees often left a little to be desired, the time to play out in the snow as a family was wonderful. Mom's chili, roasting marshmallows, running around in the snow, and falling asleep in the car on the way home - heaven. But once Dan and I got married, and my sister was in college, tradition had to change. Dan and I found that tree farms still gave us an "event" to celebrate getting our tree without the guilt of killing a poor tree from the forest]

The weather today was perfect - sunny but cold. Christmas weather without being soggy. Both boys chased each other through the dense field of trees, and we even got in a little hide-and-seek amongst the grand and noble fir trees. After discussion of what kind of tree would need, we (Dan always is kind enough to just let me choose the one that I want) found our tree. It is a giant (9-10 ft) noble fir with its own fair share of personality. This tree farm was full service - once we chose our tree, one of their guys came out and cut it down and tied it on our car for us while we enjoyed some cider on the porch next to a roaring fire. Max even got to make a little ornament while we were hanging out. We will definitely return next year!

While we were at the tree farm, I started to see just how special this Christmas is going to be. This year Max is four and Luke is two. Are there any ages more perfect for experiencing the pure joy of all the best the season has to offer? Their eyes light up at any sight of a Santa or Christmas lights. Max is really starting to be interested in the Christmas story (although tonight he asked if Jesus was a girl - think there are some serious holes in his catechism. And upon finding out the Jesus was a boy, the reply? "That's what I was hoping. What a good idea of God's."). While they aren't ready for The Best Christmas Pagent Ever yet, the Polar Express and many other stories are at the ready for encouraging blissful dreams. And they want to believe in all that is good and joyous.

And I'm going to do my best to help them find it.

Fire Station

2009-11-15T14:25:00.000-08:00

Since Max was about two years old, he has had a deep and enduring love of firetrucks. He adores anything "fireman" - including his ever-present fireman rain coat and boots. His favorite outfit is a Paul Frank fireman-monkey t-shirt, the aforementioned jacket and boots, and his red plastic fireman's hat. And nothing thrills him more than when some stranger calls him "fire chief".

Luke seems to be following in those same footsteps. Whether it is just because it is what his big brother does or a well cultivated interest of his own, he loves to race firetrucks up and down the playroom and read any of the plethora of fireman books on hand. He wears Max's old fireman boots all around the house, and grabs the precious jacket the second Max lets it go.

So it was a no-brainer that a visit to a fire station was in order. Yesterday the Belmont Fire Station (a historic firestation in SE Portland) was hosting one of its Safety Saturdays, and our morning was open. We decided to surprise the boys with the visit (a lesson learned when plans have gone awry and children became inconsolable about something that they couldn't have/do), and just opened the doors to the station without a word. Both boys stared in amazement. We were in a REAL.LIVE.FIRE.STATION.

It's a cool little museum with an old fire hose cart and truck, a pole the the kids can slide down, and lots of buttons and levers to push and pull. The best part is a front half of a firetruck that they have set up as a simulation vehicle. You get in, put on your seatbelt, and on the front windshield is a video of the truck going to an actual call - vibrating seats and all, it feels like you are really going out with engine number nine. Max and I went twice.

It was perfect adventure for my two little firemen-in-training, and a wonderful way to spend a Saturday morning. For all of you locals, I couldn't recommend it more! You can't beat a great free and dry activity for a wet fall morning when your child can't do anything but gaze in awe at the heaven that surrounds him:

Parent-teacher conferences

2009-11-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

This last week I got to sit on the "other" side of the parent-teacher conference table. While I have been doing the teacher side of things for 10 years, the parent side is a totally new gig. And believe me, I was nervous!

Ok, I see his teacher and talk with her 3-4 times a week when I go to pick Max up from school. I assume that if there were major issues she would have told me. But still...what was she going to say?

We had been to an open house there the week before. Max took Dan and I around his classroom and showed us some of the lessons he has been working on. We got to see dropper work (complete with the clean-up routine when a little spilled), cylinder sorting, matching color tiles, and sandpaper letters. He could have stayed there all night showing us all of the things he spends his time on every day. It was the first time he's ever really talked about the work side of things of his school day - usually we just hear the social side.

So, sitting down at conferences, we knew a little about his days. But we were very pleasantly surprised at just how well things are going for him there. He has several really strong skill areas, and socially is tied in well. The behaviors that are most challenging for him at home (temper eruptions and the need to win/be first) aren't happening at school. It was all really good.

Of course, Dan and I are proud of Max. And of course our family loves him. But it was the first validation from a totally neutral party that we have lucked out. We've got a great kid on our hands. Hopefully parent-teacher conferences always go this well!

A couple of great reads....

2009-11-03T15:03:00.000-08:00

Just popping in to share a couple of quick things that have brightened my days lately:

1.Giving Thanks for Pirates - This one was sent to me by a mom friend the other day - it's from a local columnist, and was a great and humorous reminder about my life as a mom (especially a mom of two boys!)

2.The entry, as good as it gets* - This one is from a blog that I read regularly, and is a great reminder to slow down and enjoy now.

Will be back soon with a Halloween picture share.....

End of an era....

2009-10-29T20:29:00.000-07:00

We knew it was coming. He had been getting closer and closer, but yesterday it happened.

Luke called his brother Max.

I never thought that Max was a tough name to say, but Luke clearly thought differently. Over the last year, he has addressed his brother in a number of ways.

First, Max was "My" (or Mai, perhaps). Max was so thrilled to be having Luke finally call him anything that he answered. Even delighted in being called My. Luke was so proud that he could get his big brother's attention that we all started to call Max "My" whenever we talked to Luke.

About 4 months ago, things shifted. Luke decided to give Max's names another shot. This time he got an actual name - "Mike". In fact, he says Mike so clearly that other people think that's Max's real name. The daycare lady even says, "Goodbye, Mike" every day when we pick up Luke. Again, Dan and I have often found ourselves calling our oldest child "Mike".

But yesterday as the boys are chasing each other around the house, I hear it.

"Max! Max!" Luke actually called him by his name. And clearly enough that Max turned around, stopped still, and stared.

"What did you call me?"

"Max."

And that was it. The end of "My" and "Mike". I'll miss them.

I can't believe my baby is getting so big.

Wishing for different....

2009-10-26T21:49:00.001-07:00

Oh my. Tonight was one of those "fall down the rabbit hole" kinds of nights. The kind where I start out reading my favorite friendly blogs, and end up feeling woefully inadequate and desperate for a life realignment.

It starts so simply. I head over to The Artful Parent - a spot full of great manageable ideas for playing at art with young children. And today she has shared a delightful interview that introduced me to Quince and Quire. A poet and crafter and mother - oh holy triumvirate! Seriously? Can one person have so much wonderful talent and delight in their days? Wow. And that she talks about one of my student's father's books? Very cool.

Then it's a hop from there to cloth napkin tutorials and Sew, Mama, Sew's month of stash busting and delightful tutorials. Drool. Bookmark. Drool. Repeat.

Ok, back to blog reading. Sew Liberated's delightful Montessori ways and SouleMama's knitting. All amazing.

And here I sit. Frustrated.

I'm wishing for a life full of days with my children crafting and learning and sharing the world in a way that seems true and authentic. I wonder how they all manage to make it work and I can't. Or won't. Truth be told, they are all incredibly talented women who are capitalizing on their talents to provide(or supplement) for their families. I'm sure there are things about their lifestyles that wouldn't agree with me. But days filled with art and beauty and togetherness all shown through the lenses of talented photographers sure are appealing.

Now, believe me, I know I've got it good. A job that I really enjoy, fantastic kiddos, an amazing husband, and a house that is beginning to feel like home. But I have my nights when living on an acre backing up to a beautiful forest or ocean shore where I spend my days making art with the boys sounds like the most amazing bliss.

What can I do? Carve out a few rows of knitting here as a reward for a stack of graded papers. Make tissue paper pumpkins and "crayon stained glass" leaves with the boys in the 30 minutes between dinner and bed. Day trips to the beach, and weekends where we try our best to take advantage of the seasons. Most of the time, it's enough.

But then there are nights like tonight....

Sick kiddo....

2009-10-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

Add us to the list. The list that everyone I know with kids has been on. That's right - the SICK LIST.

At this point we are hopefully on the tail-end of it, but it's been a rough couple of weeks. A couple of weeks ago I had a little cold. Then while we were at the coast crabbing with my parents, both Max and Luke came down with it. For Max, it was a couple of days of not feeling good - low fever, coughing, one throw-up.

For Luke it has been another thing entirely. He has now been sick for most of two weeks. He stayed home for a whole week, felt better over the weekend, and then was down and out again by the end of this week. It's the fever that was the most concerning - 105 degrees for a day or two. Dan took him into the pediatrician's office where he was swabbed for H1N1. The test came back negative and the conclusion was that it was just a bad bug. Now he's got the runny nose and hacking cough.

It's so tough when little ones are under the weather. All you want to do is make it better. And seriously - more than an hour and a half of consecutive sleep sounds pretty good, too. But I can't complain. There are so many out there feeling so much worse. I hope you all aren't among them!

Every time one of the boys gets sick and need to stay home, Dan and I have to have the "Who will stay home" discussion. Work loads are weighed, meetings compared, and sick leave evaluated. And one of us stays. But I can't tell you how thankful we are to both work in jobs that provide us with some paid sick leave. Because the one thing we don't have to discuss is how we will afford to stay home with our sick child. We don't have to dip into our savings, or push the kids to go to school ill. It is something I wish for everyone and has become one of my personal political crusades. Because we are all healthier when parents can keep sick kids home.

Ok, better go. There are noses that need wiping.....again.

Weekend fun....

2009-10-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

With Dan and I back at work, we have been working really hard at making our weekends count. This has meant one day of work/errands/housecleaning, and one day of playing as a family. We've been working hard at taking advantage of the fun seasonal activities happening around us. So here are just a few shots from the last couple of weeks.

1. Oktoberfest at Mt. Angel
For years I have heard about the great Oktoberfest celebration in Mt. Angel. But for one reason or another, I always seem to miss it. This year we were all over it. We went on Sunday and loved eating our way around the different booths and hanging out in the beer hall listening to a great polka band. Both boys had a great time, and the weather was perfect. It made me miss Salzburg in a way that I haven't in a while, but if I couldn't be in Munich for the real Oktoberfest, Mt. Angel was a pretty decent substitute.

2. Apple Orchards and Waterfalls
This last weekend we went to Kiyokawa Orchards for our "annual" apple picking trip. Dan and I first went picking 5 years ago when we were visiting my sister and brother-in-law in Ottawa. We had so much fun with them that we wanted to go again. Last year we took the boys up to Parkdale and enjoyed picking about 20 lbs. of apples. While the weather didn't cooperate quite as well this year, and the variety we wanted most were pretty picked over, we still had a good time. On the way home we took the historic highway along the gorge so we could see the waterfalls. The boys loved it, and we enjoyed the time together.

This weekend we are headed to the coast for a weekend of crabbing with my parents! It should be a great time - and you know I'll report back with lots of pics. (Maybe by the swelling in Max's nose will be mostly gone - he's already way past it. Thanks for your concern!)

We knew it was coming...

2009-10-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

Our first ER trip, that is.

Let's face it. I've got two very active boys who play hard all the time, and don't have the common sense to know what will hurt them. So far we've gotten away with scrapes, cuts, goose eggs and bruises too numerous to count, and one bad fall out of a camper. Many times I've worried that someone is ready to report us at any time for the abuse these two appear to have suffered. But so far, none of it neede more than, time, love, and a band-aid.

Until this morning.

I was washing the sheets to our bed, so all of the covers were in a pile next to the footboard. Dan and I were getting ready to take food to a friend with a new baby, and Max and Luke were playing on the bed. All was proceeding as normal until a blood-curdling scream erupted from my oldest child. Even that is not unusual in the slightest. What was unusual was the a large amount of swelling right between his eyes. It turns out that he was trying to climb up on the bed using the comforter as a step stool. He slipped, and crashed face-first on the foot board of the bed. Within seconds of his fall, the deep blue swelling appeared and my heart lurched. It was hard to tell where it all was starting, and I feared a broken nose. (Although, looking back, I realize that that would have been accompanied by a large amount of bleeding, most likely.)

Dan and I did the thing that all parents do - one held Max while the other hopped on Google while dialing the pediatrician. Both suggested that an ER trip was in order, so off we went.

By the time we arrived at the hospital, Max was acting as perky as ever, and said that it didn't hurt that bad. We decided to have him seen anyway, just to make sure. With the help of very kind Nurse Chris and fantastic Dr. Trueworthy (seriously his name!), Max got the all clear. The verdict? A badly bruised frontal head bone. An inch lower and we would have had a majorly broken nose, but we lucked out. Since he had no loss of consciousness, no nausea, no alteration of his personality (other than the fact that he was sweeter than usual), we were free to go without any further treatment.

Over the next few days Max will have some swelling, and more bruising. The poor little bridge of his nose resembles a Klingon, and I'm sure we'll see a lovely rainbow of colors as the bruising heals. But in about the smoothest way possible, he broke us into the world of the ER.

Hopefully it's a world we don't become too familiar with over the next few years. That's one frequent flier card I don't want.

Entering a new Era...

2009-09-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

When Dan and I decide to sell our previous house, one of the things I hoped to find in a new place was a neighborhood with kids for Max and Luke to play with. I remembered fondly playing with the neighbors across the street and across the commons area of the house I grew up in, and wanted my boys to have that same opportunity. The knock on the door with the "Can ____ come and play?" followed by squeals of laughter from neighboring backyards and shouts of "See you tomorrow!" at the day's end.

But I wasn't ready for it quite yet.

On Thursday, while I was out, two of our neighbor children came by to see if Max could come and play. Dan was a little unsure about the whole thing, so he wisely agreed, but he went also. They ended up jumping on the trampoline in a backyard a just across the culdesac, while Dan watched on with the mother of the home. Both Luke and Max loved it - and were so excited to have new friends that lived so close. When I got home and heard about the evening's events, I was happy for the boys, and thought that it was sweet that the neighbor kids thought to include them.

On Friday, the kids were back ringing the doorbell. This time I followed along, and watched the kids play together. Both neighbors (one girl and one boy) are 6 years old, and in first grade. And boy, did they seem A LOT older than my tiny 4 year old. I stood there, in the neighbor's backyard watching them play, and wondered if we were doing the right thing by letting Max play with them.

Saturday they came by a couple times, but both times Max wasn't able to go out. This didn't sit well with Max, and I started to see how this could be a problem. Was I going to have to go with him every time he wanted to play? If I was, then he wasn't going to be able to go very often, because I have other things to get done at home. The other parents' weren't always right there - just like I won't always be once my kiddos hit that age, but at what point is Max able to go play on his own a couple of houses away? And how much do I need to know about the neighbors to feel comfortable with him at their homes?

Today they were back. Three times. The third time I went to the father of one child, and asked about the "policy" for kiddos coming to his house. He said that Max was welcome any time, and that they all just keep an eye out. They shot baskets in his driveway for a while, and then Max invited them to come over here and play. They all played upstairs and in the backyard for a while, and then asked to go to the other neighbor's home. I decided to try and relax a little, and give it a shot. I told all three kids that Max needed to be home in 10 minutes, and could the big kids walk him back, please? Sure enough, in 10-15 minutes, they all came back across the street to drop Max off for the day.

Max appeared to have a good time, and can't wait to play again. And if the pattern holds true, I bet we'll hear the doorbell tomorrow night sometime.

Now Dan and I just have to figure out the rules for this kind of thing. How often, where, when, and how long? Any suggestions? Because, really, we weren't ready for this....

It's done....

2009-09-27T20:48:00.000-07:00

About 5 years ago my mom took her first quilting class. And soon thereafter, I followed her into my first quilting store. It didn't take long before I fell in love with the idea of quilting. You mean I too could purchase lots of little bits of gorgeous fabrics, put them all together, and end up with something? Sign me up.

So shortly after Max was born I took my first quilting class. It was a Bento Box pattern, and I chose the most child-friendly combination of colors I could find. And I had a blast making the top of this quilt.

But I didn't know how to do the backing, binding, or quilting. I didn't want to waste all the effort I had just put into the top on messing up the rest of it. So I decided to do some practice baby quilts, and use those to learn a little more. Over the next three years, I made a few simple block quilts for the boys and as baby gifts. But still the bento box top sat in the closet.

As the summer began and I started to set some goals for my free time, the quilt top kept coming to mind. This was the summer I was going to finish it. When August 23 rolled around I an still saw it sitting there, I knew it was time. Now or never. And in the next three days I sewed the backing, made my "quilt sandwich" ( top, batting, backing all safety pinned a zillion times together), quilted, and bound the entire thing.

It was done.

There are still plenty of mistakes and things I have learned for next time. But on the back of my couch lies this quilt. And truth be told, I'm really proud of it.

Starting preschool....

2009-09-13T21:19:00.001-07:00

The first week is done. Thank goodness. I want to thank you for all the comments about my last post. Your support and encouragement buoyed my spirits more than you can know. And I survived.

But Max thrived......

Seriously. I am so proud of him. Starting preschool is a big deal - all new people, new place, nothing familiar. For my highly emotional, intense little guy, this had all the hallmarks of disaster. We knew it was going to be either a nightmare or the best thing that ever happened to him.

And it was the best. No tears at drop off, and upon coming for pick-up, he looked up at me from a game of duck-duck-goose, turned back around, and said "I don't want to go. I want to stay forever."

We got into the car, and upon being asked how the day was, Max replied, "It was wonderful. I loved everything about it." And when Mema (my mom) asked about the day he energetically told her that school was like one big party. He was glowing.

Day two? More of the same. Day three? "Does it have to be the weekend?"

Now, we don't know a lot about the details of all the greatness. Mostly we hear about playing outside. We've heard a few names - Max B., Eli, Roxy, and Hannah. And he finally took a nap there on Friday (which made for a much nicer evening at home!). But all that matters is that he's happy.

All along, I have said that my only goal for preschool is that Max comes away from it with a good feeling about school. It looks like we are well on our way, and I couldn't be happier. And neither could Max.

Big days....

2009-09-02T21:16:00.000-07:00

With the beginning of the school year here, we are in the midst of lots of "big days" - those days when we're all doing something big and new and important. And sometimes hard.

Today Max had his "new student orientation" at his preschool. We went into his classroom with him while he met his teachers, stayed for a minute while he saw a few things, and then left him there while we went to wait in the hallway. Now, let me tell you - he was doing well. He was asking the questions that he had, checking out all the neat materials, listening to instructions. He was doing great.

Me? I was a mess.

I'm just starting to see what a constant tug-of-war this parenting thing is. I want to raise independent, confident children. But right now I want them to still want me. I want them to feel comfortable in their environments away from me. But I still want the tight hug that tells me it would be better if I stayed. I want him to feel good in his ability to take care of himself. But I still want to be needed.

So while I hope that he grows up, I still want my baby.

And then there's tomorrow. Luke begins his new daycare in the morning. After only doing in-home childcare prior to this, this will be our first center experience. Having worked in a daycare, I know that they can be wonderful places. And I really feel good about the place that we have chosen. But I thought that about a couple other care arrangements I had found - and they didn't turn out to be positive experiences. (Thank God for Lauren!!!) So tomorrow we begin this new adventure for him - and I pray that they enjoy him and that he doesn't get lost in the crowd. Because he's my baby, and he's still so little.

With all of this comes the guilt. The tears that well up in Max's eyes when he realized tonight that he won't see his brother all day - five days a week. The fact that after dinner and getting ready for the next day, we're left with just a couple hours a day to spend together. Something about it just feels so wrong. And I know that I'm spoiled for getting summers and vacations to spend with my children, but in my gut, there's just something very unnatural about being away from your children so much. It hurts.

It will get better. After tomorrow, we've got two big days left - my first day of teaching, followed by Max's first day of school. Then it's all just settling in. We'll find our way to our new normal. But in the meantime....

Tonight....

2009-08-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

Right now, neither boy is sleeping. It's 9:45 pm, and they are back in their room, chattering.

It's a sweet sound, but not what I want to hear tonight.

Because tomorrow I go back to work.

Now, as most teachers know, this first week is practice. Inservices, setting up the classroom, lesson planning. It's next week when the students walk in the door that reality really kicks in. And despite the fact that I start tomorrow with "team-building" in the gym, I still don't really want to go.

I love my job. Once I'm in it, and the routine is established and I know my kiddos and things are happening, I love it. It's getting there that is exhausting and hard for me. Almost as hard as leaving my kiddos. Luke starts his new daycare on Thursday, and Max begins Montessori next Wednesday. In the meantime, my amazing mother is here playing angel and making their days very special. But I'm missing them. 'Cause I'm not here.

As many of you know, today's my birthday. (Thanks for all of the amazing wishes on Facebook and such!) But it's bittersweet. Feeling like I am getting more set in my ways and habits than I hoped to be at 32 years old. Lots of things I want to be doing and things I'm doing that I don't want to be spending time on.

Ok, I'm just rambling tonight. No goal, no theme, no direction. Lots of thoughts swirling in my head that haven't yet come to any conclusion or decision. My life is very blessed, and while my list of those I'm praying for is long right now, I am constantly reminded of just how much I have.

It's just that there's a lot of change, and change and I aren't really on speaking terms right now.

Berry Picking....

2009-08-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of enjoying every season to it's fullest, and helping our boys to understand where our food comes from, I just had to take the family to go berry picking. All through blueberry season other things kept coming up, and the weekends were wonderfully full with more pressing needs. But as the end of summer closed in upon us, I started scouring the websites looking for great opportunities to get out and pick something (yeah, at this point it didn't really matter what it was - I just wanted to go).

So early one Saturday morning a couple of weeks ago, we headed out to Sauvie Island Farms. They had end-of-season blueberries (most of which weren't quite ready to go yet), beautiful, tart blackberries, sweet corn, and peaches. Max was a very diligent picker (when he wasn't making friends with the kiddos one row over), but Luke was another story.

Luke LOVES his "bla-blas". Originally this was his word for blueberries, but it has come to mean any type of fruit that might be classified as a berry. He sees them and loses all self control - they must be his. So with great glee he ran to those bushes and started shoving anything he could get his hands on straight into his mouth. NO attention to ripeness or quantity. Restraint was not his that day. Dan and I both began to worry about the belly ache that was going to follow this episode, so I put him in the Ergo (which, at 21 months he still adores) on my back. His access was limited, but not the desire. Most of my picking time was spent being clubed in the head by a small child shrieking "BLA-BLA! BLA-BLA!!". Needless to say, we cut it a little short. Then Dan was gracious enough to take both boys on a tractor ride so I could get the blackberries picked.

We rounded out the morning wandering through corn stalks looking for corn to freeze, and meandering through the peach trees for some Red Havens. Luke was able to get himself calmed down (although we carefully hid the picked berries in the wagon as to not awaken the beast) enough to help with both of those, and Max was the perfect little farmhand. While the weather was chilly and the produce was not at it's prime, we were all thankful for our little excursion. Max has asked several times when we get to go again, and our delicious bounty is either safely in our freezer or made into a delicious meal.

And it helps this country girl-turned-urban mama to get out to the farm. Sets the spirit right, you know?

Here's a few shots from the day:

Friday Night Randoms

2009-08-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

Inspired by friends Emily and Mel, tonight's post is a special edition of

Friday Night Randoms:

1. I'm photo deficient lately. Seriously, I just haven't been taking any. I need to remedy that soon, if only to show you all how great the light is in our new place. But that leads me to issue number two:

2. My hard drive is full. Like I have 2% capacity, and my poor laptop groans every time I ask it to do just one more thing.....Hoping that my upcoming birthday helps to remedy that issue. But consequently, no new photos for a while.

3. August is prime birthday season in our house. Three out of the four members of these walls were born this month, as well as one wonderful father-in-law. Add to that the birthday-followed-a-few-days-later-by-the-party situation, and you can get a glimpse of why I don't want to see another cake/cupcake for a while. And we've still got two birthdays to go....

4. The end of summer vacation is 10 days away. I can't complain - many people only get 10 days of vacation a year. But I am going to whine a little.

5. I am in love with this book:

6. My beloved playgroup is starting a book club. I am so excited to have this chance to talk with these amazing women about things other than children. We meet for the first time on Tuesday. Any beverage suggestions?

7. Found the robot fabric I want to use in the boys' room at a local shop - love that I am not going to have to place a huge online order for something I've never seen. Even better? It was on sale and cuter in real life.

8. I'm trying to resist the urge to paint the playroom this weekend. Still a little undecided about color - thinking of robin's egg/Tiffany box kind of blue. That leads to a "garden" room with leaf green accents and some bird/butterfly/tree deco kinds of things. Opinions?

9. There's ice cream in the freezer calling my name.

10. I want to sit and watch tv tonight. LA Ink and a DVD of Freaks and Geeks are beckoning. But we have a house guest. I hate to watch tv when we have guests - something about wanting them to think I have a life. But I guess typing away on my computer blows that, doesn't it.....

Good night, all. Have a glorious summer weekend.

To tink or not to tink.....

2009-08-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

For those among you who are not knitters, "tink" is knit backwards. Or in other words, to rip out stitches in order to correct a mistake. And right now, the question of tinking is filling my brain.

About a week ago, I cast on for my first cabled project - a baby blanket. After knitting several small items lately, I was looking for a longer term project. Then my favorite yarn store (Twisted) had a great sale on a bamboo/cotton blend yarn that would be perfect for something drape-y, and the blanket was begun. Each row has taken me about 7 minutes or so. And I'm 23 rows in. There's some time there - time which is hard to come by these days.

So, about 4 rows back, I noticed a mistake. A fairly obvious one. Ten rows back. And then, while studying it, there it was - another one. About 4 rows before the first. ACK!

For the last four rows, as I've continued knitting along, I've been trying to convince myself that these mistakes aren't obvious and that no one but me will notice them. But in my heart of hearts, I know/hope that this isn't true. After all, if the person for whom it is being knitted loves it as much as I hope, then they will notice as they admire it cradling their new little one. And it will bug them, too.

Oddly enough, this mirrors some of the other situations in my life right now. Places where my laziness or my desire to just hurry up and get it done have left things just not right. Or budgeting that was undone, because I didn't want to admit that those splurges were adding up. Or starting to plan for the upcoming school year that I just keep saving for tomorrow, even though I know I'll regret the time lost.

This is the point at which I get the kink in my neck, the tightening in my stomach, the whispers in the back of my brain. I know the right thing to do. I just don't want to do it. But if I don't, then the nagging feelings remain, and they won't go away. Not even when things are all done.

So I know what tonight and the next few days holds for me. Some serious tinking. Both in my blanket, and in my daily life. It's time to unravel a little, go back, and do things right. In the end, I won't regret it.

Movie Morning......

2009-08-12T11:01:00.000-07:00

I am a TV addict. I could sit forever, watching hour after hour of reality tv, HGTV, TLC, or any other thing which mildly catches my eye. It's bad. And it is because of this Dan and I have worked very consciously to limit the use of the TV in our home. The boys get to watch less than 30 minutes most days, and we try and have a few days a week when it isn't on at all (while they are awake, that is....).

Which is why days like today are so special and fun. From the moment he woke up this morning, Max was asking for a pajama day - a day when we don't leave the house and he gets to stay in his pajamas all day. It sure was a great reminder that we have been on the go more than he would like, and that all too soon we will be too busy again. So it was declared - pajama day for all (except Daddy, who had to go to work). Add to that the drizzling rain outside this morning and the fact that game playing, drawing, and story time had all been accomplished by 10:00 am - we needed something.

Movie Morning.

Wahoo! Joy all around! It was decided. Cinderella (Max's choice) was started on the DVD player, popcorn was made, and blankets were gathered. We settled in for 90 minutes of entertainment and laughter. Bliss.

I love times like this. I think, "Why don't we do this more often?" But then it hits me. This is so great precisely because we do it so rarely. When we break the "rules" and mix things up, it's much more special, and we appreciate something as simple as a video and popcorn.

So now I just have to avoid the temptation to do it again tomorrow....

Lazy week...

2009-08-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

This week the boys and I are working hard at having a lazy week. Since almost every moment of this summer has felt filled to the brim with other craziness, we are taking this week for us. No hard and fast schedule. No rushing around. Few errands. But still, there's a lot going on.

1. Recovering from Max's crazy birthday party. We had 48 people here Sunday afternoon, and it was wonderful - more to come on that in another post.

2. Thrift store gathering. Between Sewing Green and the new Handmade Home that I am expecting on the doorstep any moment, there's some fun recycle sewing to be done. And I have fallen all kinds of in love with fun old 60's and 70's sheets and pretty handkerchiefs.

3. Trying to figure out which house projects to tackle before heading back to work. DO I paint the playroom/craft room, the guest room, or really work on cleaning up the woodwork and trim. And which floor should we work on first?

4. Cementing daycare plans. I visited another center for Luke this morning, and am pretty sure it's the one. But I still have to visit one or two more to make sure.

5. Art time with the boys. There hasn't been nearly enough this summer. And I have some ideas I want to try with canvases for a couple spots in the house.

So, all in all, still a lot going on - but in our time and at our pace. Love it.

Indulge me.....

2009-08-05T08:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know this is going to sound melodramatic, but it's just the way that it is.

It was this day four years ago that my entire world changed. Not the "flipped upside down" kind of change, but the kind where you take off your sunglasses and the colors of everything are just a little different. A shift that is big enough to make you double check your footing and hang onto the safety rail. And then realize that in an instant you can't even remember your old world.

Four years ago, I became a mama.

From the moment Max was born he has become my teacher. And I have learned many lessons in the last four years:

1. Life will not go exactly as I've planned - no matter how much research and preparation I put into it.

2. A solid night of sleep is a miracle to be reveled in when it happens.

3. Peas will come out of the nose if you plug the other nostril and blow.

4. Laughter and tears often come together.

5. Routine is important, but the true joy comes when you break it.

6. Sometimes counting to 10 and taking a deep breath isn't enough. Sometimes it's 100 and a walk around the block. Twice.

7. Little boy sweat is the sweetest smell in the world.

8. Children heighten every experience. The highs are higher, lows are lower, everything is just MORE.

9. Nothing feels better than cuddling someone made of your heart.

10. It's not all about me. In fact, very little of it is.

11. To a large extent, children are who they are. It's our job as parents to help them learn how to make who they are a good member of society.

12. Being a mama is who I'm supposed to be. And I wouldn't trade places with anyone else in the world.

Maxwell dear,
I love you more than all the world. To Pittsburgh and Cleveland and the stars. You are my angel baby, and I owe the best lessons of my life to you. Thank you.

Love,
Mama

My summer list....

2009-07-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. Summer is half over. And yes, I've been very lucky this summer - a wonderful vacation, and a brand new house. But in many ways, it truly feels like summer is just now starting. A few posts ago I talked about Max's list of things he wanted to do, and I was inspired by a blog I read to make my own list. Sooo.....

This summer I will:

- Blow bubbles with my boys

- dip my feet in a lake or river or stream (or the ditch at my parents' place if I get desperate)

- eat lots of homemade ice cream

- lay out and look at the stars

- visit the farmer's market often and enjoy the best the season has to offer

- lay in a hammock

- roast marshmallows

- go for a walk in the woods

- listen to music outdoors

- swing as high as I can

- have many many many picnics

- play in the sprinklers

- host a get-together where twinkle lights will figure in

- spend lazy moments cuddling my babies in bed instead of rushing out the door

- sleep in a tent

- watch Jaws - at least once

- get a pedicure

- unplug more often

I'm sure there are a million more things that I want to do this summer. It is my favorite season, after all. Full and warm and meant for living each day with intention and spontaneity and hurry-up-and-play.

Plus, I've got a couple of upcoming events that will help me tick a lot of these off the list and put my heart at rest.

The Na Pali Coast

2009-07-18T19:42:00.000-07:00

Hands down, my favorite part of our vacation was a boat ride down the Na Pali Coast. It is this part of the island that is so rugged, there aren't roads. The only way to see it is either by helicopter (which Erin and Alex would highly recommend) or by boat. The boat ride is my favorite, for sure.

Unfortunately, Savannah (my niece) was running a fever the morning of our boat trip, and my mom had generously volunteered to stay back and watch the boys, so it was Alex, my dad, Dan, and I perched on the side of a zodiac-type boat that morning. We absolutely lucked out - it was our first totally clear morning - perfect for viewing the cliffs and coastline.

We had a great guide, and it was a blast getting to cruise in and out of amazing caves, waterfall-gaze, and watch the spinner dolphins off the bow. Somehow I totally lucked out and had the best seat on the boat - the very front, so the bumps were great, and the splashing waves were just enough to keep from getting too warm. (Although the legs could have used another application of sunscreen, it later appeared....)

The "end point" of the ride is a beautiful snorkeling spot where we got to play around on the reef edge and swim with amazing groups of fish. Their colors are amazing, and it is all to easy to just get lost in drifting above their world. I really think that in another life (one where science is better funded and allows you to stay closer to your family), marine biologist would have been the calling for me. We wrapped up the time there with lunch on the boat, and quick ride back up the coastline.

This boat ride was amazing. For me, it was about a lot more than the beautiful scenery and good company. It was about returning to a little bit of myself. For my entire life, my family had boats - I learned to water ski when I was seven, and there wasn't a summer when we didn't spend significant time on the lake. My favorite vacations were always about the water - a cruise, a couple of weeks crabbing in the San Juan Islands, weekends in the bay in Newport. It is where I feel most relaxed and at home with the world. As an adult, time on the water has faded, and it's much harder to come by. This boat trip reminded me how much I need to find a way back to it - it's too much a part of me to just let go.

Now to maybe take some kayaking lessons.....

Kauai

2009-07-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

For our honeymoon, Dan and I spent an amazing week on the Big Island of Hawaii. It was the perfect setting for romance and relaxation, and has always held a very dear spot in our memories.

About 3 years ago I decided that for our 10th anniversary we needed to go back - but this time I wanted to show him the beautiful island of Kauai. So we began planning. It wasn't going to be as easy this time - after all, now there were children involved. We didn't want to leave them at home, but also wanted some "date time". The solution? Have family join us! With the help of my parents, we reserved two condos in Princeville where we would stay with my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and parents.

It was amazing. The weather was perfect - partly cloudy and in the low 90's, a couple brief rain showers every day, and lots of great sun breaks. The company? Fantastic - it was great having everyone there together. The island? Gorgeous - towering cliff faces, white sand beaches, lush green jungle and sweeping taro fields.
The water? Heaven. Simply heaven.

While the time always goes too quickly, we made the most of every day. An active out-and-about morning of golfing (for the boys), shopping (the girls), snorkeling at Tunnels Beach, or other activity was followed by naps and an afternoon swim in the hotel pool. We took turns fixing dinners in, and enjoyed some nice dinners out. Dan and I particularly enjoyed an anniversary dinner together to bask in the glory of a Hawaiian plantation view. Night tennis and game playing accompanied by the world's cutest geckos rounded out our time. It really was wonderful.

Now, it's picture time:

Reading with Mema (a favorite activity for all three grandchildren, no matter the latitude):

Max and the boogie board on the way to the pool (One of the best things about this trip was watching Max fall in love with just playing in the water. It was amazing to watch him conquer his fears and try new things!):

Pool time with Papa and Daddy:

Max enjoying the pool:

Tunnels Beach, just east of Hanalei Bay:

Going out to dinner for our anniversary (and yes, the kiddos stayed home!):

Lunch from Bubba's Burgers in Hanalei:

Waimea Canyon:

Spouting Horn (there were great sea turtles here, too!):

Playing at the playground in Poipu before flying out:

So there you go - our week in heaven! I'll be back soon with more.

Catch-up

2009-07-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

We have been having s wonderful, hectic, tiring summer - and the poor blog has suffered great neglect. Over the last few days I've struggled with where to jump back in. And what I've come to is that I will do a couple of quick catch-up posts and then jump back into "real time".

(Plus I've got too many great Kauai pics to just not post them.....)

The Summer List

2009-06-19T16:32:00.001-07:00

On our first day of summer, Max and I sat down at the kitchen table to make a very important list. As you know, our summer is going to busy and list-filled, but this one is the most important. It is the list of fun things we want to do this summer.

Max was so excited to get to started on his list that in this first week we have tackled three of his items:

1. Making Dinosaurs:

2. Making a Blanket and Pillow Fort:

3. Going to the zoo:

It's been so nice to give our days a little direction and let Max feel like he's getting to do things he wants to do. With all of the other things going on, we need the incentive to play and craft and pretend.

Luke? He's still pretty content to go along for the ride on Max's adventure train. Now, next summer he'll get to make his own list.

The picture...

2009-06-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you about the picture I'm not going to post.

But to tell you about it, I have to give you a little background.

My dad is a guy's guy. From top to bottom. He loves to hunt, camp in crazy weather, ride horses, and be outdoors. And he has two daughters. Now, I've always said that it was good that I didn't have a brother, because if I had, I think he would have been the one encouraged to tag along with my dad. As it was, he had to "settle" for us girls - and never told us that there were "girl things" or "boy things". I loved it, and felt very lucky that my dad trusted us to learn to be tough.

But there was always a part of me that felt bad that my dad didn't have a son who enjoyed doing all the things he did.

Flash forward twenty years.

This weekend the boys and I went down to my parents' house to hang out. One of the eternal chores on their 40 acres is changing irrigation pipe - hauling large lengths of metal pipe from one part of the field to another to keep the grass green in the high desert heat. I hated doing it as a kid. But this weekend I strapped Luke in the ergo, Max tossed on the ever-present rain boots, and we headed out to join my parents in the field.

With Luke on, I was useless. But Max was desperately excited to help. Running everywhere that Papa went, he learned to lift the latches and hook them in place, and then move on to the next pipe. By the end he was working hard at carrying one end while Papa carried the other. Both were grinning ear to ear.

And when I turned from a conversation with my mom to watch them across the field, my heart did that little stutter step. The one that says, "Remember this. Just like this. Forever."

There it was - my perfect picture. My Dad with his boy - my son - working their way across the pasture. They have the same posture - upper bodies leaned forward, with arms barely moving, long steps. Faces fixed in looks of focused determination. Totally in sync in both body and heart.

I didn't have my camera with me. So this one my heart had to take. And the best part? The picture in my head is always perfectly in focus. There forever.

Savoring.....

2009-06-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

Just had to come inside for a tapestry needle (finishing off knitting a baby hat), and the computer sucked me in. One of my goals for this summer is to blog more regularly, and since today is the first day, I better give it a shot.

One month from today, we will be sitting in our new house, having officially handed over the keys to this place by 8:00 pm. We will have done our final vacuuming, counter wipe-down, and walk-through. It will officially not be our house anymore.

I'm such a pansy that even the thought makes me tear up.

I love this house.

This was the first place that Dan and I ever felt truly at home in. The first place where we felt settled. It's where we brought our babies home, and where we spent endless hours drying tears, sharing smiles, and cuddling to our hearts' content. The only home Max and Luke have ever known.

It's going to be hard to leave.

This month will be full of trying to squeeze the best out of every last moment here. Picnics on the lawn we put in three years ago. Eating the peas that are almost ready. Visiting with neighbors we've come to adore. And tonight? Sitting n the deck next to my Joseph's Coat rosebush enjoying the last of the day's sun.

'Night, all.

Lots going on....

2009-05-30T20:57:00.000-07:00

To put it mildly, there's been a lot going on around here lately. The end of the school year is always a little nuts - lots of events, grading, weird schedules, and general craziness. This year is no different.

Then add on top of that, add in selling one house and buying another. We were fortunate to receive an offer a couple of weeks ago on our house, and reached mutual acceptance on a house to buy yesterday. And as should be expected, none of that is ever as straightforward as it should be. Right now all we can do is cross our fingers and hope it all works out. ('Cause if it does, it will be great!)

So, in two weeks, school will be out. In four weeks, we will be in Hawaii. In 6 weeks we will be in our new home. All wonderful things. And a whole lot to do in the in between time.

Which made our first Farmer's Market visit of the year even more wonderful this morning. A nice slow pace. Fresh donuts. Potted tomatoes, cucumbers, and a raspberry that we can take to the new house. Asparagus and baby spinach, rhubarb and radishes. Folk music and lots of dogs. And kettle corn for the ride home. I adore the farmer's market. And this one is the one I love the best. Even better? It's 20 minutes closer to our new place. We look forward to many more Saturday mornings there.

It's important to keep enjoying the daily life in the midst of all the "big stuff". I think that is what makes the "big stuff" worth it.

Life's not fair.....

2009-05-16T21:56:00.000-07:00

This morning I awoke to my smallest child nestled into my side, plaintively mewling "muk....mukkkkk" while his right hand squeezed open and shut. Milk. He wants milk. Fine.

Not 15 minutes later, the big one patters in, whispering, "Can I come in yet?" No. Go back to bed until it's closer to a reasonable weekend wake-up time. And off he went.

Thirty minutes later the little one was fully awake for the day. "Ok, you can come in now......" and the big one runs in from his room where he had been patiently laying in bed looking at books. As my husband read to both boys in our bed on a beautifully brilliant morning, it hit me.

Life is not fair. It really isn't.

Why did I get everything I ever wanted? How did my life turn out to be so much like I always dreamed it would? And when is the proverbial "other shoe" going to drop?

Because all around us, that other shoe has been dropping like crazy lately. From college friends faced with ending treatment for their four year old with leukemia to co-workers losing a teen in a tragic car accident, Friday was a rough day. Friends who have lost fathers far too early and others who are stuck in the wringer of infertility/adoption are all being hit pretty hard right now.

And here I am, sitting pretty. It's not fair.

So I'm going to do my best to keep that in mind. I know there will be times in my life when things are hard; maybe even feel impossible. And I pray that I have the courage to deal with it, hold my head up and admit that life isn't fair. But that "fair" doesn't matter. "Fair" isn't why things are good or bad. Holding tight and appreciating all that I've got is all I can ever do.

That, and hoping that some good ol' prayer helps lifts those for whom things really just aren't fair right now.

Some fun crafties....

2009-05-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

When Luke was born I got involved in an online group with a great group of women all around the country. One factor that ties us all together is our love of being "crafty". For Mother's Day we decided to do a craft swap, sending out love via sewing, baking, jewelry-making, and amazing handiworks. Now that the swap is over, I'm free to share the things that I made for my amazing partner, Molly.

I've been wanting to try some jewelry making, so this was my first shot at using beading wire:

And I had long ago fallen in love with the pleated bag from Amy Karol's Bend the Rules Sewing. This was the perfect time to try it out. While I liked the finished result, next time I wouldn't use linen for the body - a stiffer cotton would hold it's shape better. I also made the zippered pouch from the same book:

Here's the inside of the zippered pouch - it has a fun little paisley lining, and was my first shot at sewing in a zipper:

All three projects were a blast to make, and having a deadline forced me to do some long-missed sewing. I now want to try all three again for myself! And the best part of the swap? I got some amazing gifts from an amazing woman, Emily. She is a crafter and photographer that I greatly admire, and to have her create amazing handiwork for me was so special!

The package started with these - Cherry Almond Chocolate cupcakes in a jar! They are to die for!!!!! And could they be any cuter?!

Then was this beautiful grapevine wreath with two beautiful lovebirds perched inside:

Then she took two of my favorite pictures of the boys and had them printed on display-designed foam board with fabulous quotes about moms and their boys underneath:

And last but not least? This amazing apron! It is adorable and a work of sewing art - gathers, reversible, fabulous fabric choices. It is going to make baking so much fun - and I'll look just so cute with my red kitchen aid mixer.

Here's everything together (and the other side of the apron):

I am just so fortunate to be a part of this great group of women - and want to publicly thank the Divine Miss Em for her thoughtful gifts. They made my year!

My mother-in-law......

2009-05-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

(Last Mother's Day)

I know I've said it a million times here, but I am so incredibly lucky. Today, Mother's Day, has been a great time to reflect on that. I am so blessed to have my boys - they are the lights of my life. I have an incredible sister, brother-in-law, and niece. My Dad is still my hero, and my mom is someone I admire more than words can say.

But there is someone else who has changed my daily life more than I ever could have known. My mother-in-law, Marian, is a miracle in my life. There are just so many things that I want to thank her for:

- for welcoming me so kindly into her family - her open arms and gentle words are more than I could have asked.

- for her incredible love of my children, and support of me as a mother. I never feel judged or criticized, and my boys always know that they have unconditional love in her arms.

- for raising her daughter to be an inspiration of consideration, generosity and intelligence. Carrie gets those things from her mother.

- more than anything, I thank her for her son and the man that she made him. So many of the best parts of Dan come directly from his mother. From her he gets his unconditional acceptance of others, his desire to see the best in any situation, his understanding of the hard work that it takes to be successful, and his absolute and total devotion to being the best parent he can be, he is his mother's son.

Living in a society that tends to make mother-in-law jokes and eye rolls whenever anyone mentions the mother of their spouse, I just have to shake my head and say, "Wow, that must be tough. But, no, I can't sympathize. I happened to win the mother-in-law lottery."

And the really cool thing? Dan feels the same way about my mom.